This rant is entitled “Hey, Horror Movie Characters” for three reasons. One, 31 Days of Horror is in full effect and we’re talking horror every day. Two, it’s directed at characters in a horror movie. Three, I can’t put “Kill the Mother Fucker” in the subject header. I love horror movies. This much is true and obvious. That doesn’t mean I give them a blank check written out to idiocy. There are plenty of bad things in horror movies, even in good ones. Primarily, people making bad decisions. Granted our victims are almost always young teenagers, unwise in the ways of the world, potentially inebriated, and often thinking with their sex organs rather than their central nervous system. Still, even in my most obliterated of states I know that I’m not going to fit through the doggy door in the garage. So hey, horror movie characters. Quit making dumb decisions and kill the mother fucker.