Slasher

SororityRow

The inner circle of Theta Pi sisters perpetrate a prank that leaves one of their best friends dead. Instead of going to cops and risking orange jumpsuits for manslaughter, they choose the far superior solution of dumping her body down a convenient mineshaft.

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SororityRowHeader

These two new clips from Sorority Row are NSFW. As long as that stands for Now, Some Fine Women. And also stands for Not Safe For Work Due to Exposed Breasts. Or Oh Snap Some Girl Gets A Bottle Shoved Down Her Throat.

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Either you want to see cute sorority girls prancing around in their underwear or you want to see those bitches get killed. Luckily, the new trailer and pictures for Sorority Row satisfy both needs.

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Spitshine your Chrome masks, sharpen up your knives and let’s hop into the murder-mobile as we all take a look at Laid to Rest.

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Still playing the catch up, the Coroner quickly cuts through Trackman from Ghosthouse Underground.

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Before a masked miner attacked you in three dimensions, he existed in merely two, though he had his own theme song, which is arguably just as awesome.

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Back to Camp Crystal Lake!

We went into Friday the 13th expecting to see some blood splatter, some horny teenagers and multiple machete attacks. On top of that, we learned a thing or two.

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msg-slasher

Do you have what it takes to survive a weekend at Camp Crystal Lake? Check out these tips and you just might make it. Ignore them and you’re already dead.

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Bill Hader and Judd Apatow to do Slasher Flick

Straw Dogs meets Halloween meets Home Alone meets The Monster Squad. Seriously.

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coldprey

Foreign Objects travels the world of international cinema each week to look for films worth visiting. So renew your passport, get your shots, and brush up on the local age of legal consent, this week we’re heading to… Norway!

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Take a stab at Prom Night

Prom Night is infinitely better than the original (partly because it doesn’t feature a ten minute disco segment in the middle). Sure, it loads up with cliches and has more fake jump moments than actual scares, but considering the target market is horny teenage boys trying to get a rise out of their dates, this is understandable.

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Arbor Day from MAD Magazine, December 1981

There is no more creativity in Hollywood any more, is there? At least not in the slasher film market. They haven’t just remade the classics. They’re remaking the crap too. So, Hollywood, my present to you: A list of log lines for potential slasher movies based on either holidays other notable dates important to high school kids.

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Storm Warner

For all I knew it was I Still Remember Knowing What You Always Did Three Summers Past and I ignored it again and again.

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The Tripper is a dreadfully “fun”—that is painfully mediocre—slasher movie.

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published: 12.17.2014
B+
published: 12.15.2014
B
published: 12.12.2014
D+
published: 12.05.2014
C+


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