Slasher Films

Silent Night Trailer

Remember that ’80s era slasher flick, Silent Night, Deadly Night? It’s back! In remake form. Or, maybe not exactly in remake form. It seems like it’s also possible to look at this film as being a loose sequel to the original as well as being a remake, kind of like The Evil Dead and The Evil Dead 2. Either way, when you hear the words “horror movie” and “Silent Night” in the same sentence, you know what to expect: a murderous Santa taking out the townsfolk with an axe. Or, to be more accurate to this trailer, a murderous Santa taking out the townsfolk with an axe, a cattle prod, a wood chipper, and a flame-thrower. Sure, it’s not likely that Silent Night is going to be anything other than exploitative schlock, but seeing as Jaime King makes for a lovely leading lady, Malcolm McDowell is getting the chance to overact, and Donal freakin’ Logue is playing the super-creepy Santa Clause, it’s not likely that it will disappoint anyone who’s just looking for a Christmas movie about people getting killed. And, deep down, aren’t we all just looking for a Christmas movie about people getting killed?

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After Eli Roth brought us Cabin Fever in 2002 and then the first Hostel film in 2005, everyone just assumed that he was going to be one of the big horror directors going forward for the next decade. But then he just made a Hostel sequel in 2007 and kind of…stopped. In recent years he’s been spending most of his time producing and taking various acting jobs, with little indication when or if he would ever return to directing. But today that has changed. A press release from Exclusive Media and Worldview Entertainment has announced that the two companies have teamed with Roth to bring us his next foray into the horror genre, The Green Inferno. Little is known about the project at this point, but quotes from both Worldview CEO Christopher Woodrow and Exclusive Media executive Alex Walton specifically tout Roth’s past financial success, so one can assume that the director won’t be straying too far from the slasher film formula that brought him big box office dollars with Cabin Fever and Hostel.

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In what’s sure to be polarizing news for people who fondly remember the 1984 Christmas-themed slasher film, Silent Night, Deadly Night, Variety is reporting that Anchor Bay has picked up the North American distribution rights to a remake of the film, which is set to begin shooting next month. If all goes according to plan, that means it should be hitting U.S. theaters this year, just in time for the holiday season. For those who may not remember, Silent Night, Deadly Night told the story of Billy, a young boy who was traumatized by the sight of watching his parents get killed by a guy in a Santa suit, so he grows up to be a murderous, psychopathic mall Santa himself. It’s basically like a reverse Batman, but with a charming Christmas theme and buckets full of gore.

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Roger Corman is probably the best known creator of B-movie cheese and exploitation junk of all time. Between the mid-60s and the early 90s he produced hundreds of cult films and even directed fifty of them himself. Despite the fact that he worked pretty exclusively in the lower brow side of the filmmaking world, he also launched a ton of big careers by giving talented filmmakers their first shot and he became a hugely influential figure in the Hollywood world. Even today, his legacy is starting to thrive through remakes and reboots of his past projects. Things like the new Death Race and the new Piranha 3D are keeping the memories of junk cinema’s past alive. And according to Variety, there is at least one more Corman reboot on the way. Dry County Entertainment has gotten the rights to 80s slasher Chopping Mall, and they’re poised to put their own spin on it. In the original version of Chopping Mall, a group of teenagers get locked inside of a shopping mall and have to fend off robotic security guards that have turned murderous and prove to be very deadly. This proposed new version of the shopping mall slasher wouldn’t be exactly like that, according to Dry County head Robert Hall, who says, “It will retain the basic concept of young people trapped in a mall; however, the story will have a darker, supernatural spin.” I guess that supernatural spin thing could be pretty controversial. Will this piss off some Chopping […]

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31 Days of Horror - October 2011

We continue our journey through a month of frightening, bloody and violent films. For more, check out our 31 Days of Horror homepage. Synopsis: Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Some kids at a summer camp pull a prank that ends up having deadly consequences. But there’s a twist. The victim of the gag gone awry doesn’t actually die, he lives on as a deformed monster and one day returns to the camp where he goes about exacting brutal revenge on a group of horny, party obsessed teenagers. Sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so, but that’s not important. No matter how many of these Friday the 13th clones come out, they’re still all pretty entertaining in a cheesy way. And The Burning is definitely the cream of the crop when it comes to the pretenders, being just a notch below the genre milestones like Friday the 13th and Halloween, and certainly being better than their sequels. The killer here is Cropsy, a drunken and despised camp janitor who gets burned alive when some kids try to freak him out by putting a flaming skull in his bunk. His weapon of choice is a pair of gardening shears, which he uses to chop and slash tender young flesh. He’s silent, he’s dressed in black, and he kind of looks like a charred version of Sloth from The Goonies.

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Junkfood Cinema

Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; we ain’t got time to bleed. Ah the internet, home to some of the finest intellectual minds and cutting edge commentary on…the internet. Sadly, you sailed right over the cerebral foie gras and caviar of online film columns and wound up at the internet equivalent of Stuckey’s. And not even a fine, upstanding Stuckey’s just outside of Orlando with troves of cheap Disney merchandise to accompany your pecan log omelet. We here at Junkfood Cinema are more in the ballpark of a Stuckey’s in Pineview, Georgia smashed between a gas station still offering leaded fuel and a more-than-slightly questionable bookstore. Every week I play the role of the waitress who looks unnervingly like an ill-fed Andre the Giant serving up the only item on the menu: terrible films. I will skewer and deep fry the film before lovingly drizzling a rich sauce of terrifyingly genuine love across its still-steaming carcass. Once your faces are adequately stuffed, and the only sound you hear is glass shattering as the buttons on your pants jettison across the room and decimate our collection of antique grease jars, I will serve dessert in the form of a snack food item made only slightly more palatable in juxtaposition to the film to which I have subjected you. Today’s Blue Plate Special: The Dorm That Dripped Blood

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It’s been a while since Bill Hader was gabbing about the slasher film that he is collaborating with Judd Apatow on. Way back in the when he said the movie was called House of Joel, and he described it by saying, “It’s partially Straw Dogs meets Halloween meets Home Alone meets The Monster Squad.” If I didn’t know better, I would say he looked into my mind and stole that quote directly from my deepest fantasies. Recently Hader spilled some more details about the project and where they’re at with its development when talking to The Playlist. Firstly, Hader says that there has probably been a name change, “Well, I’m not sure it’s called House of Joel anymore. I don’t know what’s happening with it exactly. Judd, me, and Jason Woliner are gonna meet in L.A. soon to figure out what the next steps are. It’s a funny, funny script and it’s Judd’s take on a slasher movie. It’s been a long gestating project, but I think it’s worth it because it just keeps getting better.” Better sounds good, but Apatow hasn’t done anything yet other than comedies with a little added heart. What would an Apatow-made horror film look like?

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Wake The Dead has had a moderately long road to production (and it’s not there yet) which is why news of a new company taking it over should be taken with a pinch of bittersweet salt. Steve Niles’s comic book pass at the Frankenstein story that features med students fooling around with the dead was at Dimension for a while, then Jay Russell (Ladder 49) was going to direct it, and now it’s landed in the lap of Slash. Yes, the guitarist from Guns N Roses. The awesomely talented one with the top hat. According to Hero Complex, the axeman has started his started his own production company called Slasher Films, and Wake The Dead will be one of the first productions. This is great news. An adaptation of the comic could be like Flatliners and Dawn of the Dead met somewhere in the middle of the operating table, but Niles is quoted in the piece as wanting to evoke the tone of the 1970s horror flicks. Maybe he should call up Ti West. Slasher will be partnering with Scout Productions (Session 9) to make the movie.

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