Sharon Stone

Lindsay Lohan in The Canyons

After a long absence, I have returned to Film School Rejects. Some of you may remember me as the guy who complained about how movies aren’t girly enough or the guy who told you how Hollywood is out to screw everyone. Or maybe I’m best remembered as the guy who foisted David Christopher Bell on you all. I’m sorry for that. I didn’t realize he was literally a bear with a keyboard who somehow knew where all of our readers lived. But Dave has moved on to bigger and better things ( wanted a bear they could keep in their office), so I’m back, baby! And to celebrate my comeback, I am presenting you with this group of actors who tried to make cinematic comebacks and fell flat on their faces. Which I hopefully will not do. Hopefully.


Basic Instinct

When you think about 90s pop culture, you have to think about Paul Verhoeven’s 1992 erotic thriller, Basic Instinct. That movie dropped like a bomb, dominating the entertainment news cycle for months and inspiring years worth of parodies. Its success didn’t come because Michael Douglas’ cop character investigating a murder made for all that interesting a story, or because Verhoeven orchestrated the thing all that well either. It came almost solely because people were so shocked by the content. There were threesomes, ice pick murders, and, of course, there was that interrogation scene where you could catch the briefest glimpse of Sharon Stone’s vagina if you turned your head sideways and squinted. The 90s were more innocent times—before the near daily release of celebrity sex tapes—so this was intense stuff, and Basic Instinct made a mint off the scandal. Two years later, a sporadically working director named Richard Rush tried to cash in on the trashy erotic thriller craze by making Color of Night, a murder story that starred Bruce Willis as a troubled psychologist dealing with the killing of his best friend, and a cast of colorful psychiatric patients that served as the suspects. Like Basic Instinct, the film focused on kinks and perversions of all sorts, and seeing as Willis’ character eventually begins to enjoy the company of a free-spirited minx played by Jane March, it had plenty of saucy nudity too. But the trashy erotic thriller craze proved to be short lived, because, despite the fact that […]



It’s taken 33 Commentary Commentaries, 33 different movies we’ve heard all kinds of people from directors to actors to whatever was going on with Cannibal: The Musical, but we’ve finally gotten to AH-NOLD. That’s right. This week we’re looking into Total Recall, that mind-melting actioner from 1990 wherein Arnold Schwarzenegger uses a completely innocent bystander as a human shield, loses his memory, and saves just about every mutant living on Mars. He doesn’t save the girl with three breasts, though. That probably deserves a spoiler alert. But it’s time to hear what Schwarzenegger and director Paul Verhoeven have to say about the whole experience. With the remake headed our way this Summer, we felt it was time to find out everything we could about this modern classic. Maybe this time next year we’ll have a Total Recall 2012 commentary from Colin Farrell and Len Wiseman. Wiseman has already offered a commentary for his film’s trailer, but there’s no way in the world it’s going to be as entertaining as listening to Verhoeven and Schwarzenegger. No way. Let’s get our asses to Mars, shall we?


Allen, Stone, and Vergara

John Turturro’s new effort as a writer and director, Fading Gigolo, sounds like a pretty fantastic story, and already it’s attracting a pretty fantastic cast. First, the story: Fading Gigolo tells the tale of two cash-strapped friends who decide to get into the prostitution business, one as a gigolo and the other as a pimp, which quickly attracts the suspicions of the community living around them; because they happen to be Hasidic Jews. Oh, also they take on the names Virgil and Bongo. Now, the cast: Turturro plans on playing the gigolo himself, and in the role of the pimp will be none other than Woody Allen, the famed director who hasn’t acted in somebody else’s work (in Picking up the Pieces) for twelve years now. This project must look pretty interesting on the page to get a guy who’s busy making a movie a year to take time out of his schedule and do some acting.


Leonardo DiCaprio in Celebrity

Editor’s Note: With Ashe taking a much needed vacation, we turn to the insightful talent of writer Maxwell Yezpitelok for this week’s list. Go read more of his work. But read this first. And then go check that stuff out. Woody Allen has to have one of the greatest casting directors in show business, if we overlook the fact that for some reason they keep casting short middle-aged Jewish guys opposite women like Julia Roberts, Scarlett Johansson and Charlize Theron. But seriously, look at all the big name stars that keep showing up in his movies, sometimes for the whole movie and sometimes for just a few seconds. In honor of that genius scene in Midnight in Paris where Adrien Brody completely kills it as Dali (only to never again), here are the greatest actor cameos in Allen’s forty-something films:



At what point does Nic Cage crossover from actor to Internet meme? Cage’s distinct brand of emotional overdosing, that would send Lee Strasberg himself into a coma, has been fueling the web for the past few years like gasoline on a steadily burning wildfire. Every film that sees release (barely) continues to showcase what the man does best: send reality into the stratosphere. He’s a walking, talking grindhouse film. That doesn’t mean it’s not serious art. Far from it. For every Wicker Man, Vampire’s Kiss or Season of the Witch, movies easier digested in two minute YouTube clips than in their full theatrical glory, Cage spins his explosive techniques into watchable films, like Kick-Ass, Bad Lieutenant and Adaptation. Whether his latest, Drive Angry 3D, fits into the first or second categories, there’s no doubt the man has had successful run thus far. This success puts Cage in the spotlight, but frankly, he’s not the only one (or the craziest) to make a career out of acting nuts. That’s right: I believe there are people more outlandish than Nic Cage in the world and, dagnabbit, the Internet needs to start acknowledging them for the loony performances they deliver:



What do having sex with Sharon Stone, having sex with Carice Van Houten, and having sex for money have in common? I’ll give you a hint, and it’s not having sex.



Remember Steve Guttenberg? The comic wit? The smirk? The abnormally well-defined pectoral muscles? No? Well he remembers you, and like that stalker ex-lover of yours he wants back in your life.



It’s not unheard of for world news and politics to cross over into the entertainment industry. But one thing is for certain… when it happens, you can find some celebrity in the middle of the whole thing making an absolute ass out of himself or herself.


Val Kilmer, 50 Cent and Sharon Stone will star in a film about two policemen battling the chaos that reigned in New Orleans in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, according to Variety.

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published: 01.27.2015
published: 01.27.2015
published: 01.27.2015
published: 01.27.2015

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