Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; and a very special welcome back to me. I have returned, at least for this week. As I am currently ensconced in the trenches of Fantastic Fest, and doing my best to avoid getting into a broken bottle fight with Nacho Vigalando, it’s been awhile since I have helmed this beloved column of mine. For those unfamiliar with this feature, every week I tend the fields of schlock and harvest an especially bad movie over which I fawn while you sit amazed at my lack of taste. To make matters worse, I pair each film with a disgustingly delicious snack food item to emphasize the so-good-it’ll-make-you-obese nature of these films. So Fantastic Fest, in its infinite wisdom, provided the perfect fodder for this week’s Junkfood Cinema with the unholy creation that is Sharktopus. Genetic biologists manufacture a hilariously unnatural combination of shark and octopus in an effort get a few more people to pay attention to the Syfy Channel. Things go wrong, unimportant lives are lost, everyone goes home happy…except the aforementioned dead folks.