Satan

Farrelly Brothers

There’s some good news and some bad news when it comes to Dan Ewen’s spec script Dear Satan. The first bit of good news is that it’s an original idea that sounds funny. The second bit is that its originality has been rightly rewarded by one of the big studios, as 20th Century Fox just bought it with intentions of putting it into development. Variety broke the story, and says that the script was inspired by a child the screenwriter was babysitting making a crucial misspelling when addressing her yearly letter to Santa Claus. Ewen says of the experience, “There was this cute little card, covered in candy canes and glitter. I fell in love with the idea of this note mistakenly being delivered to the Prince of Darkness and the fiery wackiness that would ensue.” In his script said wackiness actually does ensue, as Satan receives the letter by mistake and ends up bringing the little girl a toy.

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Rob Zombie is stepping into the world of original horror filmmaking with Lords of Salem, and it’s probably hip to mock it, but there’s something great about Satanic messages in vinyl records that spin mysteriously backward – even if that idea itself isn’t all that original. Fortunately for those genuinely interested (and those interested in more fodder for their mockery), Zombie has unleashed a ton of information about the film including a synopsis, some location scouting photographs, a few shots of a creepy mask being made by Wayne Toth (for all you special make-up effects nerds out there), and a long-form Q&A about the project. CHUD has gathered all of this together in one handy post, and here’s the synopsis (originally via Shock Til You Drop):

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When the calendar page turns to October, we Rejects have only one thought: horror. To celebrate this grandest and darkest of months, we’ll cover one excellent horror film a day for the entirety of the month. That’s 31 Days of Horror and 31 Films perfect for viewing on a dark, chilly, October night. If you, like us, love horror and Halloween, give us a Hell Yeah and keep coming every day this month for a new dose of adrenaline. Synopsis: Evil children in horror movies hit a stride in 1973 with William Friedkin’s adaptation of William Peter Blatty’s book. Famous actress Chris MacNeil (Ellen Burstyn) is in the middle of shooting a movie, but her own twelve-year-old daughter Regan MacNeil (Linda Blair) is having problems at home. It starts with weird noises in the attic and an imaginary Ouija board friend she calls Captain Howdy. However, it soon escalates, and after exhausting her medical options, Chris turns to the Catholic church. She convinces a local priest to perform an exorcism on her daughter, revealing the terrifying demon possessing her body.

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When the calendar page turns to October, we Rejects have only one thought: horror. To celebrate this grandest and darkest of months, we’ll cover one excellent horror film a day for the entirety of the month. That’s 31 Days of Horror and 31 Films perfect for viewing on a dark, chilly, October night. If you, like us, love horror and Halloween, give us a Hell Yeah and keep coming every day this month for a new dose of adrenaline. Synopsis: Damien Thorn’s dad is the ultimate helicopter parent. An influential guy, his dad’s always been there, pulling strings to get him into the best schools and keep him on the path to success. Trouble is, Damien’s dad happens to be Satan. This explains why people who threaten or just annoy Damien have a tendency to die excruciating and mysterious deaths. In the second installment of the Omen series, 12-year-old Damien has been adopted by his wealthy (human) aunt and uncle. He enrolls in a military academy with his best friend and cousin, Mark. It’s here where Damien discovers his true bloodline, and must accept his diabolical fate.

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The opening and initial set up of Heartless is incredible. Sadly, it takes a wrong turn almost immediately afterward and slowly crawls its way deeper into a hole it can’t quite ever get out of. It’s not at all a terrible movie, but it’s the kind of movie that frustrates with how many good ideas it has that it’s unable to flesh out or capitalize on. Jim Sturgess delivers another empathetic performance as Jamie Morgan – a young man whose self-confidence is completely wracked by a heart-shaped birth mark covering the side of his face. He learns that there’s a gang of demons wandering through London creating chaos, makes a Faustian pact with a sideburned Satan, and lives to regret the decision.

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“Paradise Lost,” the most well-claimed-to-have-been-read-but-wasn’t-actually-read epic poem of all time (amongst high schoolers), has had more than a few shots at a feature film adaptation. For some reason – perhaps because it’s a gigantic naked tome of human moral psychology with a whisper-thin plot that it dangles by – it hasn’t made it to your local cinerama-plex-a-dome. Now, it might. Dark City and The Crow director Alex Proyas has been hired to helm an adaptation that focuses on the war between Team Lucifer and Team God and promises some graphic Angel on Angel violence. The phrase “action film” have been tossed around, but the brand of action that Proyas delivers is usually fulfilling both on a visceral and mental level. Oddly enough, he may be the perfect person to take a challenging project like this. Now, who to cast as Satan? Is Dave Grohl available? CGI Young Al Pacino? [The New Cinematical]

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The name of M. Night Shyamalan may have been greatly tarnished by M. Night Shyamalan, but there’s no denying that this trailer for Devil makes the film that he produced (but didn’t direct, if that helps) look engaging and deadly. It begs the classic question of what you’d do if you were trapped inside an elevator and, instead of a porn star played by Carla Gugino, it’s the great Satan himself hiding amongst your crew. Answer the question yourself, and take a look at the trailer after the jump.

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published: 04.19.2014
A-
published: 04.19.2014
B+
published: 04.18.2014
C-
published: 04.18.2014
C

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