Reboot

The Grudge

Here’s the thing with clichés – they become clichés because they’re at least somewhat rooted in the truth. Hollywood running out of ideas has been a running joke for quite some time now – a cliché, really – but that doesn’t mean it’s not actually true. How do we know it’s true? Because we’re rebooting remakes now. Rebooting remakes. Films that have already been through the remake wringer once, come out relatively clean on the other side, and are now being shoved through again. How much blood can we squeeze from one stone? Well, at least when it comes to this latest rebooted remake, there might be actual blood, because it’s a horror film that’s getting a fresh cut – The Grudge, specifically, as spawned by the Japanese hit Ju-On. Deadline Hollywood reports that Ghost House Pictures and Good Universe are relaunching the franchise, which first hit American screens as the Sarah Michelle Gellar-starring The Grudge back in 2004, as it sprung from the 2002 Japanese outing Ju-On. Takashi Shimizu directed both the Japanese original and the American take on the material were directed by (the helmer also directed all three of the Japanese sequels and the first American one), though he does not appear to be involved in this new outing.

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Man from UNCLE

Guy Ritchie’s take on NBC’s espionage series is arriving early next year, with a theatrical debut January 16, 2015, over Martin Luther King weekend. Starring Man of Steel’s Henry Cavill, this will be the first return of the property to mainstream audiences in over thirty years. The Man from U.N.C.L.E. ran from 1964 to 1968, and starred secret agents Illya Kuryakin (David McCallum) and, no joke, a guy named Napoleon Solo (Robert Vaughn), as a two-man team defending the free world from the nefarious organization, THRUSH. One of the unique aspects of the show was creator Sam Rolfe and producer Norman Felton’s narrative of international cooperation, with the two main agents hailing from North America and Russia, working for an international organization united under one cause.

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Reboot

Let’s just all pray that there will never need to be a reboot of Reboot, because this title is already a tad ludicrous as is, at least cinematically speaking. THR reports that Fox 2000 has set newbie scribe Lindsay Devlin to adapt Amy Tintera‘s upcoming YA novel, “Reboot,” into a feature film for them. The book which, again, won’t be released until next year, so no wonder you haven’t heard of it, is described as “edgy” and predictably takes place after the world has experienced a major upheaval. At the center of Tintera’s novel is “Wren 178,” a female “reboot” who works as soldier for “HARC (Human Advancement and Repopulation Corporation).” What’s the deal with reboots? Well, they sort of sound like zombies – they are all people who have died, been brought to life, and now have superhuman strength (the depth of their strength is based on how long they were dead, as it were). The “178″ in Wren’s name refers to how long she was dead – 178 minutes – and Wren tops the Reboot charts in death-length. Part of Wren’s work as a Reboot is to train new ‘boots, but everything gets topsy-turvy for Wren when a new Reboot throws her for a loop. It’s a boy Reboot. Hide your shock. You can guess where this is going. The whole thing sounds a bit “Hunger Games” mixed with “Insurgent,” but hey, that’s what the kids are into these days. After the break, check out a full synopsis for the book, via ComingSoon.

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In Paul Verhoeven‘s 1987 film, RoboCop, the sci-fi action takes place in a future Detroit, one that is overridden by crime and violence. Mega-corp Omni Consumer Products has been contracted by the city to run their police force and to clean up the city and its many criminals. Part of their initiative involves a cyborg cop program called, you guessed it, RoboCop. When veteran police officer Alex Murphy (Peter Weller) is killed in the line of duty, OCP takes his body and uses it for their very first RoboCop. While successful in his job, the now-eponymous RoboCop is still haunted by memories of his old life as Alex Murphy that he must battle as he also battles crime. Jose Padilha is now remaking RoboCop, set to star Joel Kinnaman and, as is the case with all reboots and remakes and rehashes, this new film begs the question – just how similar will this new film be to the original? Turns out, in the case of RoboCop, pretty damn similar! Over at ComingSoon, they’ve posted the newest synopsis for the RoboCop reboot (a Robocop-sis?), and it sounds like some very well-tread territory:

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It’s a good news, bad news day over at Fox when it comes to their ripe-for-reboots (at least in their minds) Marvel properties. Over at Deadline Hammer Falls, (via Cinema Blend), the outlet reports that Josh Trank is now officially set to helm their Fantastic Four reboot, just as David Slade exits their latest take on Daredevil. While Chronicle director (and comic book adaptation director It Guy) Trank is apparently still signed on for two other comic adaptations- “Shadow of the Colossus” and “Red Star” – and he’s been rumored as a top pick to helm a “Venom” film, the outlet reports that the studio expects that he will direct Fantastic Four next. The film will feature an all-new cast, and Fox is planning on scheduling its production after their new The Wolverine and the X-Men: First Class sequel, which means we’re due for massive casting speculation as of sometime last Tuesday.

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Marvel has enjoyed a pronounced measure of success with their films of late. Captain America, X-Men: First Class, and especially The Avengers have proven worthy of all manner of flashy adjectives. And now we arrive at Marvel/Sony’s reboot of the character for which flashy adjectives are often indivisible from his name. The unfortunate irony is that any number of films on Marvel’s slate from the last year are more deserving of the descriptor “amazing” than Marc Webb‘s The Amazing Spider-Man. That’s not to say the film is a total disaster, but in the company’s current climate of quality, passable is not acceptable.

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Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 Jacob and Renesmee

I’ve made no secret of my slight distaste for the Twilight franchise. In fact I’m pretty sure some of my previous maligning comments will come in handy should you ever need to eat through the various hulls of The Nostromo. However, it’s fair to say these movies make a decent amount of money. It probably has something to do with, um, well, wow, look at all that money it makes! As we approach the release of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2, because a story that epic is demanding of two movies which together comprise one giant disaster, whispers are already being shouted that the studio is planning to reboot the series once it takes it final, excruciatingly slow, bow. If you ask me, and we know you didn’t, Summit’s pathetic ploy to hold onto this cash cow long after it’s fully milked plan will require of a vastly different approach to “filmmaking” than the one to which we’ve heretofore been subjected. If I had to come up with five ideas for the Twilight franchise reVAMP, I’d write this piece I was assigned and categorize them thusly…

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According to The Hollywood Reporter, newcomer Matthew Lieberman has been signed to write the Short Circuit reboot going on over at Dimension Films. He’d previously written the not-at-all-liked Dr. Doolittle: Tail to the Chief which went straight to video on the coattails of the Eddie Murphy movies, but this project is an interesting way to get a foot in the door of the feature world. What’s more important is that Tim Hill is set to be the director. Hill’s recent work includes Alvin and the Chipmunks, Hop and Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties (apparently everyone involved loves “tail” puns). All of that sounds awful, but once upon a time, Hill also directed Muppets From Space. How someone got from weird and wonderful to boringly broad and homogenous is anyone’s guess. Forget it, fans. It’s Chinatown. That’s sad, but the most fascinating thing about bring back Johnny Five to life is that instead of appealing to a movie geek crowd, the production is attempting to take a character from a strange little 80s movie that’s been reduced to a catch phrase and make him a children’s entertainment icon. To do that, Hill and company will be able to sidestep the treacherous balance between old fans and new by completely disregarding old fans. Of course, the bigger question will be whether a robot movie like this will fly in a time where actual robots are running our lives for us. Will Johnny look like an Erector Set that talks or will […]

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As I suspect that most reports of this news will fall on the side of snark with a side of pleading with a holy entity to explain why this is befalling humanity, I have chosen to present this news as straight as possible. Otherwise, I might combust. New Line Cinema has hired a director to reboot the Police Academy franchise, a series of seven films from the 80s and 90s that followed the humorous disasters that befell a group of unsuitable police trainees. Because, obviously, there is nothing funnier than the concept of morons, idiots, and losers serving and protecting their community. The series most notably starred Steve Guttenberg and that one guy who made all those sounds. The reboot was apparently announced back in February, but it appears that I’ve blocked that memory from my mind, because it was simply too heinous and bizarre to remember. New Line has picked Scott Zabielski to direct what we can only assume is the first film in a new franchise, marking Zabielski’s first foray into feature directing. Zabielski’s primary directing credit is as helmer of fifty-one episodes of Comedy Central’s Tosh.0, a job that apparently proves his ability to direct an offering that is almost totally regurgitated clips and jokes. So, somewhat perfect.

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In all fairness, Daredevil is not a bad movie to take a mulligan on. Plus, if the rumor is true, they’ve got a solid talent at the wheel. According to Variety, David Slade will be directing a new entry into the Daredevil world for Fox. Call it a reboot, a sequel, a redo, a second shot or whatever you want, but the film won’t feature Ben Affleck or make mention of the previous film. So, it’s a reboot. Just for fun, if we consider the Spider-Man retooling going on and this new announcement, the timeline for when we’ll see other reboots becomes clear. The 2002 Spider-Man is now a 2012 version. The 2003 Daredevil will now probably be 2012 as well, meaning that we might see reboots of 2004′s Hellboy at some point, followed next by 2005′s Sin City, and 2006′s V For Vendetta. The new Superman puts a dent in that imaginary timeline, but the point is clear: the cycle must start over. We’ve run out of comic books to make. That’s just a best guess as to what order they’ll come around again in. Hopefully we’ll hear word of the Batman rebooting no more than ten minutes after The Dark Knight Rises premieres.

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Buried deep, deep, oh so deep within the rotting ruins where creativity used to lie, GK Films has wiped the cobwebs off of a franchise and is ready to bring it back to life. All obligatory complaints about reboots aside, it might actually be cool to see a female Indiana Jones kicking ass and taking treasure again. There’s nothing wrong with having fun, and those video games provide the high concept starting point to get that particular popcorn job done. According to Deadline Derby, GK wants to see the first new Lara Croft film hit theaters in 2013, with tentative plans for sequels after that. Now the speculation begins. Since Angelina Jolie is a long-shot to return to this thing, what new blood should take over the tan shorts and awkward thigh-gripping gun holsters?

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This Week in DVD

Now that the Academy Awards have told us that the best film of 2010 is The King’s Speech the next few months of DVD releases are bound to be filled with mediocrity and bitter disappointment until Tom Hooper’s directorial tour-de-force hits shelves. Speaking of unappealing and visually disturbing movies, Burlesque comes out today! 127 Hours and Love & Other Drugs are probably the week’s highest profile releases, but the best actually come courtesy of of Acorn Media with their British TV titles The Norman Conquests and Murder Investigation Team. One is a bitingly funny and smartly written comedy of manners and the other is about a team that investigates murders. Gustafer Yellowgold’s Infinity Sock Haven’t seen this one yet, but I was sold on the title. I hadn’t even heard of it before looking at a list of this week’s releases, so I checked out the DVD’s web site and discovered it’s actually a pretty popular character in the realm of children’s entertainment. The songs are catchy and dreamy in equal measure, like a Peter Gabriel-led Genesis (if you can imagine such a thing), and what it lacks in educational appeal it looks to more than make up in sheer pop entertainment. I may have to borrow a kid to justify the purchase…

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ghost-rider-header

Well it will be reconceived, whatever that shit means.

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published: 04.18.2014
C-
published: 04.18.2014
C
published: 04.18.2014
B+
published: 04.18.2014
A

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