Point Break remake

How news of remakes continues to shock me, I’ll never know. There’s been buzz about a Point Break remake for a while now, but Warner Bros. and Alcon Entertainment have finally decided to just get totally radical and announce their planned remake of the 1991 Kathryn Bigelow  film that remains a cinematic classic for surfers, stoners, Angelenos, adrenaline junkies, idiots, and Keanu Reeves fan everywhere (hey, back up, I count myself as one of those idiots). Alcon snatched up the rights for the film on the eve of its twentieth anniversary, with co-founders and co-CEO’s Broderick Johnson and Andrew Kosove set to produce the new project, along with Michael DeLuca, John Baldecchi, Chris Taylor, and Kurt Wimmer. As previously rumored, Wimmer penned the screenplay for the remake (hat tip to our pals over Twitch for reporting on this way back in June). The film is without a director as of yet, but it’s being “fast tracked” with a helmer search launching soon. The new Point Break will, in both completely inexplicable and totally expected news, not necessarily take place in the world of surfing, but “in the world of international extreme sports.” What, like street luge? Parkour? Say it’s parkour, please say it’s parkour. But the remake will still focus on “an undercover FBI agent infiltrating a criminal ring.” That’s all we’ve got for now. Wait, isn’t that The Fast and the Furious? Just tell me said FBI agent has a Johnny Utah-esque name, and all will be forgiven. Frankie New […]

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Junkfood Cinema

Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; we get furious when we don’t get our fast food. Before you could slam on the brakes, you managed to crash head-on into one of the internet’s most obnoxious dividing walls. Every week I put the pedal to the floor, a floor almost entirely obscured by half-eaten Zero bars and discarded McRib wrappers, to bring you the very best in the very worst cinema has to offer. I will drive a truckload of mockery right up the unsuspecting film’s tailpipe before totally switching lanes and filling your eye sockets with premium unleaded love for that very same lemon. Finally, to really drive home this absurd running metaphor, I will supercharge your taste buds by pairing the film with a greasy snack that will leave tread marks on your esophagus all the way down. This week’s treat: The Fast and the Furious

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published: 11.21.2014
D
published: 11.21.2014
B+
published: 11.19.2014
C+
published: 11.19.2014
B-, C


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