PG-13 Rating

Back when it was first announced that Platinum Dunes had plans to put together a new live action Ninja Turtles movie, Neil Miller found himself pondering what sort of picture they intended to make. Platinum Dunes is known mostly for relaunching popular but tarnished horror franchises, so did that mean that they intended on giving us a gritty, adult take on the Turtles, kind of like the original Eastman and Laird comics? Or would they still be taking a more kid friendly approach, like the cartoon and live action film series of the 90s, which raked in bajillions of dollars by appealing to a younger audience? Now that there are some names attached to the creative end of this one, what it’s going to look like is becoming more clear. According to a new report from Variety, Michael Bay and company have hired Jonathan Liebesman to direct. At first glance, that might lead you to believe that this could be a seriously dark film, as Liebesman was the guy who did The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning for New Line back in 2006, and that was a pretty dark, R-rated remake. But if you look at the work he’s been doing lately, he’s been hovering much more in the PG-13 range, and he’s been doing the sort of films that are generally too epic in scope to limit your audience by putting in questionable content. His last film was Battle: Los Angeles, and he’s got Wrath of the Titans coming […]

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Like a pit bull that gets his testicles removed right out of the womb, The Expendables 2 is aiming for a PG-13 rating, even though the first film was a smash success despite being stamped with an R. According to an email to Aint It Cool, Sylvester Stallone is confirming that they’re headed for that rating, saying that “The PG-13 rumor is true, but before your readers pass judgment, trust me when I say this film is LARGE in every way and delivers on every level. This movie touches on many emotions which we want to share with the broadest audience possible, BUT, fear not, this Barbeque of Grand scale Ass Bashing will not leave anyone hungry…Sly” The problem is that there just aren’t many great action movies of this kind with a PG-13 rating. You’ve got to see some blood in order to give a damn, and it’s hard to take Stallone at his word that everything will be bigger except for the stuff that makes an action movie an action movie. The bottom line? This is a movie for adults that’s just been shoved into a Happy Meal box. Is it Chuck Norris‘s fault? Who knows. What’s probably happening is an increase in budget to cover the new additions and the new “bigness,” and with great money comes a greater need to hedge bets. “Many emotions which we want to share with the broadest audience possible”? Really? Now there’s no cursing, not much blood, and we have to […]

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We’ve reported before on the possibility of The Weinstein Company shooting for an edited version of The King’s Speech in order to get a brand new, shiny PG-13 rating. According to Variety, they’ve successfully done so. What does it all mean? It means that an Oscar contender for Best Picture has been watered down because 1) bad language is dangerous to our youth 2) teenagers put down their Nintendo DSes and sexting devices for long enough to lobby TWC to get a teenager-friendly version approved and/or 3) none of the above. What it really means is that if you haven’t seen the film, and you want to see it in all its (literal) fucking glory, you might not be able to soon. If TWC decides to pull all of the original, un-bowdlerized versions and replace them with the PG-13 version (which some source are saying has the words muted. That’s right. Muted. You’ll hear nothing instead of a human talking where a human is supposed to be talking), then you might be out of luck. As adults and movie fans, the only response is to do the opposite of what TWC expects – don’t go see the film specifically because its been edited. It’s unclear what role Tom Hooper played in this move, if any, but it is clear that The Weinstein Company has done it solely because they feel it will expand their profit base. However, the millions of teenagers demanding access to this film will finally get it […]

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It’s rated PG-13, but Mr. T himself is claiming that The A-Team is a bit too violent and sexy for his taste. Especially since it’s being marketed to families and young teenagers. Assuming that he saw the entire film without having his vision blocked by gold chains, do you dare disagree with the T?

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This is a chord everyone can hear, because it rings true to all ears – unless they belong to an executive at a studio.

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published: 04.18.2014
A
published: 04.18.2014
B+
published: 04.17.2014
B-
published: 04.17.2014
D+

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