New Year’s Eve


Well here it is, the end of our holiday horror series and, by extension, the end of 2014. You might say New Year’s Evil is the film to which Cargill and I have been counting down since our very first episode…you would be wrong, but you might say it. Still, we give our ringing endorsements of this forgotten 80s slasher as well as point out how it falters in its resolution. We also regale you with embarrassing stories from my yearly New Year’s Evil parties and chat about our favorite JFC moments of 2014. This is our last midnight, and we’re making the  most of it. Thanks for listening this year, and please continue to chow down on Junkfood in 2015. You should follow Brian (@Briguysalisbury), Cargill (@Massawyrm), and the show (@Junkfoodcinema). Download Episode #37 Directly


trading places 27

There are so many movies with New Year’s Eve scenes that we might be able to make a list of 2,013 of them. Especially if we separate each scene from movies completely set on the night, such as New Year’s Eve, 200 Cigarettes and the Assault on Precinct 13 remake. But we’re going to keep it simple and exclude 2000 of those to share only 13 favorite moments of movie characters ringing in the new year. None of them are from those three aforementioned films, by the way. And since we’ve obviously left a bunch of scenes out, at some point before you go out to party or get situated on your couch ready to watch the ball drop, do tell us which New Year’s Eve scenes you love. Oh, and merry new year!



Let’s be honest here, the first time we all heard about Adam Sandler’s cross-dressing comedy, Jack & Jill, it was already clear that it was going to be an epically awful abomination that would inevitably get the attention of the yearly awards for worst in film, the Razzies. And get their attention it did. Upon today’s announcement of the nominees for the 32nd Annual Razzie Awards, Adam Sandler has earned the distinction of being the most nominated performer of all time, receiving 11 nominations for his work in not only Jack & Jill, but also Just Go With It and Bucky Larson. Also, as a whole, Sandler’s Happy Madison Productions has scored a whopping 19 nominations overall for the three aforementioned films. While these numbers are staggering, especially since The Razzies only give out ten awards every year, they should probably come as no surprise. It’s hard to understate just how bad all of the work that Sandler has done this year is, how lazy and pandering every film that has his name on it ends up coming off, and how shamelessly self-aware Sandler seems to be about the awful choices he makes, all while gleefully counting his stacks of money. Some may say that it’s going too far to nominate the man both in the Worst Actor and Worst Actress category for Jack & Jill, seeing as he’s not really an actress, but not me. I say he deserves it. His ridiculous portrayal of a woman was just that […]



There are two things you don’t want to watch getting made – sausage and the official Film School Rejects’s year-end worst-of list. Hideous, dirty, bloody, illegal stuff; many animals die in the process (disclaimer – no animals were harmed in the making of this list). It’s a fool’s errand, a losing battle, a terrible way to dig up the past pains of the year’s biggest flops – reverse therapy for cinephiles. But damn if the results aren’t hilarious. For this year’s Worst Films of 2011 list, our own Kevin Carr and myself teamed up to pick the most wretched of the wretched, the worst of the worst, the Adam Sandler films we’re all struggling to forget. There were many emails and even more tears. I doubt we’ll ever be able to look each other in the eye again. By the time Sir Carr and I were done volleying bad films back and forth at each other via the electronic mail system like a game of cinematic badminton that absolutely no one was capable of winning (and, really, how does one win badminton?), we were far too exhausted to even attempt to number the following twenty-two films in any kind of order. No matter, they’re all bad. We’ll leave it to you, dear readers, to take to the comments to call what you think is the worst (and what we’ve, quite unforgivably, left off).



Talk about the question on everyone’s mind this holiday season! Deadline Kaluga reports that Russian filmmaker Timur Bekmambetov will answer that very question – sort of, in a way, considering he’s already answered it twice already. Bekmambetov is now set to team up with Chinese filmmaker Eva Jin to launch a Russian and Chinese remake of Russia’s own wildly popular anthology film, Yolki. Bekmambetov previously directed his own segments in both Yolki (also know as the more appropriate Six Degrees of Separation) and its very successful sequel, Yolki 2. Yolki 2 was recently a big winner in its native Russia, pulling in a stunning $7.8m gross over its opening weekend. The original Yolki was “Russia’s most successful local movie in the past three years.” The first film “tells the stories of eight different Russians – from eight different time zones – and how their destinies intersect one New Years Eve.” The new version will “be framed around the Chinese New Year. There will be eight stories connected by a young orphan girl who must deliver a message to the President and whose only hope is to use the theory of ‘six degrees of separation’ – that all people on Earth, from the lowliest migrant worker to government leaders, are connected by six handshakes.” Gross. But also somewhat sweet. Bekmambetov and Jin are each set to direct one of the different vignettes of the film. Of course, the major question is not who will write or direct the other sections of […]


Sherlock Holmes

Yeah, Chipmunks. How do you like it when we change your words? Another week of movies. Another week of slight disappointments. Sherlock came out on top, but both Game of Shadows and Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked came in under expectations. Neither were major letdowns but noticeable enough. Chipwrecked debuted at half of what The Squeakquel brought, while Game of Shadows made about 2/3 of what Sherlock Holmes did. This could be a good indication of the law of believed diminishing returns on the sequels, not believing they’ll get their money’s worth. In the case of Chipwrecked, it could just mean kids are getting movied out. The past few weeks have been inundated with new family features.


Katherine Heigl and Jon Bon Jovi in New Year's Eve

See? It wasn’t us this time. No, instead the Garry Marshall/Katherine Fugate team went from the stunningly high $56.2m (Valentine’s Day opening weekend) to the surprisingly mediocre $13.7m for New Year’s Eve. Hey, maybe American audiences are starting to shape and choose the better films with their dollars. Or maybe it just didn’t appeal to the right demographic. There’s only so much Ashton Kutcher the chick flick crowd can even endure. Now that he’s on Two and a Half Men on a weekly basis, they don’t need to go to the cineplexes to get their Kutcher fix. So, there you have it. Blame Two and a Half Men for New Year’s Eve disappointing.



Here’s something sort of bizarre – director Garry Marshall and writer Katherine Fugate‘s latest star-crammed desecration of random, non-religious holidays is not monumentally or irremediably terrible. It is also not good, but it’s certainly better than its predecessor, the rancid Valentine’s Day (though that’s not saying much). New Year’s Eve is not so much a film as a gimmick – tons of stars! lots of plots! all kind of connected! just one day! – and such a gimmick can yield some unexpectedly positive results just as often as it can ending up being simply terrible entertainment not worthy of being called cinema. New Year’s Eve is not so much a film as a two-hour piece of wish fulfillment for the sort of people who read US Weekly on, well, a weekly basis. Unlike Valentine’s Day, its very existence is not offensive, but it’s bloated and kind of boring and really, just really, tremendously unnecessary.


The Reject Report

Like a mic. Drop the ball. Walk off the stage. Oh, I guess you have to say something witty or snarky before that, don’t you? Well how about some box office analysis? We’ve got two big hitters opening up this weekend, both of them reaching for different audiences, and both of them likely to have decent openings here. The star-studded girlie night is probably going to beat the R-rated Adventures in Babysitting remake, though. Okay, it’s not really a remake, but, I mean, come on. Just look at that trailer. That film, by the way, is The Sitter starring Jonah Hill. He’s found moderate success in his newly acquired leading man status. A $17.5m opening for Get Him to the Greek was impressive enough in the summer of 2010 despite the film not having much of a branding behind it. The Sitter is also the new film by David Gordon Green, who had good numbers with Pineapple Express ($23.2m opening weekend), not so much with Your Highness ($9.3m opening weekend). The Sitter has a good chance of coming in somewhere between those two, a little less than what Jonah Hill pulled for Get Him to the Greek. Expect The Sitter to make somewhere between $15-16m, a good showing but not enough to topple the other new release here.



What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a thing that happens every night, bub. And it will deliver unto you the best of the entertainment-related things that happened today. Also, there will be mustaches. We begin tonight’s late late edition of News After Dark with an epic mustache. No, not this column’s author’s epic mustache. It’s an image of what Burt Reynolds looks like in his cameo on Archer, one of the better shows about animated spies to hit cable television since… okay, I ran that into the ground. It’s really good. Burt Reynolds makes it even better.


New Years Eve Poster

The horror…the horror… The best part about this poster for New Year’s Eve is either that it features all of the names and pictures of the actors, but not in the same order, or that the catchphrase “Let The Countdown Begin” lets us know that it’s a Doomsday Movie. Garry Marshall, who should be ashamed of himself for directing Valentine’s Day, proves once and for all that he owes some serious men down at the race track by stepping up to direct this sequel which seeks to squeeze even less screen time out for even more famous faces. Also, Homeless Hector Elizondo is kind of cruel considering they made everyone else look halfway decent (except for Ashton Kutcher who clearly didn’t show up for a photo shoot and forced the marketing department to find a paparazzi shot of him smiling). Enough with the words! Check it out for yourself, and feel free to largify it by clicking (if you dare):



If the multiple storylines, loose connections, and a total lack of chemistry of Valentine’s Day was simply not enough for you, director Garry Marshall has yet another holiday-themed film for the masses – twice the storylines! twice the loose connections! twice the total lack of chemistry! Wait, that math isn’t right. Even less chemistry! Everyone, meet New Year’s Eve. Like last year’s chillingly empty Valentine’s Day, Marshall’s latest film tracks a group of romantically challenged love losers across the course of one holiday. Will they find love? Will I hiss in the theater again? When is he making Flag Day? New Year’s Eve moves the action to New York City, though it inexplicably features two stars of VD (Ashton Kutcher and Jessica Biel) who appear to be playing totally different roles than in the previous film. If that hints at some sort of alternate universe, well, that’s still not very interesting to me. The really strange part about this trailer is the sense it gives off that all of its many stars were thrown into a blender, set to “frappe,” and poured out onto the pages of the script. How else can we possibly account for a film that pairs up Katherine Heigl with Jon Bon Jovi, Michelle Pfeiffer with Zac Efron, Lea Michele with Ashton Kutcher, or Jessica Biel with Seth Meyers? And that’s only about a quarter of the cast, everyone else flew by so quickly that my own mother could be in this film, and I wouldn’t […]



What is Movie News After Dark? This is a question that I am almost never asked, but I will answer it for you anyway. Movie News After Dark is FSR’s newest late-night secretion, a column dedicated to all of the news stories that slip past our daytime editorial staff and make it into my curiously chubby RSS ‘flagged’ box. It will (but is not guaranteed to) include relevant movie news, links to insightful commentary and other film-related shenanigans. I may also throw in a link to something TV-related here or there. It will also serve as my place of record for being both charming and sharp-witted, but most likely I will be neither of the two. I write this stuff late at night, what do you expect?



Valentine’s Day was a terrible movie. It was everything that is syrupy and wrong with Hollywood, so of course it’s getting a sequel in New Year’s Eve – a trend that will most likely continue until Flag Day is made. Then it will be rebooted. That follow-up will now possibly see Ashton Kutcher re-enlisting as a brand new character (who doesn’t like New Year’s Eve), and he might also be joined by two-time Academy Award winner Hilary Swank, two-time Academy Award winner Robert DeNiro, and three-time Academy Award nominee Michelle Pfeiffer. It’s looking to shoot soon, and will most likely strive for a release close to New Year’s Eve 2011. Until then, the world longs for Flag Day. [THR]

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published: 01.30.2015
published: 01.30.2015
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