Near Dark

Fright Night 1985

Vampires are timeless; by their very nature immortal. Still, Hollywood has so shat the coffin with vampire movies of late that the creeping shadow on the wall no longer belongs to Nosferatu, but rather to permeating audience apathy. But there was a time, gentle viewer, when the legacy of the vampire canon found a way to integrate gloriously into the zeitgeist of a new era. That time was the 1980s. On this week’s episode, Cargill and I discuss some of our favorite vampire movies of the ’80s and examine how they incorporated the spirit of that decade into the long-running mythology of the blood-sucking undead. We won’t say this is an episode of Junkfood Cinema that you should sink your teeth into, because that’s far too obvious. That being said, you should totally sink your teeth into this episode of Junkfood Cinema. You should follow Brian (@Briguysalisbury), Cargill (@Massawyrm), and the show (@Junkfoodcinema). Download Episode #7 Directly

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You read the headline correctly. The number of horror classics that could be remade outnumbers the number that shouldn’t be. I’ve bought into it. I’ve seen enough good examples of remakes done well to no longer balk at the announcement of a new one outright (and I’m sure 5 more will be green-lit by the time I’ve finished typ…okay 5 more just got green-lit…); and if early word on the new Evil Dead picture is to be believed then it’s just one more punctured notch into the human-skinned belt of worthwhile horror remakes. No horror picture is safe from being resuscitated and put back through a brand new shiny meat grinder. Sometimes we get unexpectedly tasty ground sirloin; and sometimes we get mildewy grotesqueness reminiscent of “The Stuff” (which could use a remake). Talented filmmakers will make a good picture while talented accountants will make money. Sometimes both can be satisfied, and that readily occurs in the production of a horror remake because they’re cheap to make, easy to sell, and fun to play around with. They’re the pancakes of the film industry. Almost any horror picture is capable of being remade well given the right kind of people with the right kind of attitude. While it feels like everything’s already been remade, there are still a few stragglers that haven’t. Here are 5 that shouldn’t and 10 where an update might not be so bad.

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We’re taking a time out to highlight the efforts of Lionsgate releasing to bring lots of great genre flicks into the high definition world.

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31daysofhorror-reckoning

A cowboy (Adrian Pasdar) meets a pretty, young gal at the local saloon and discovers too late that her kiss includes a double-pronged love bite of vampiric proportions…

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Sure, Twilight successfully lowered the bar dramatically when it comes to the quality of bestselling fiction and film. But it also may have put a stop to an unnecessary remake, so that’s a plus.

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