Nathan Lane

No Pay Nudity

I’m not exactly sure what I’m selling here. At first I thought No Pay, Nudity was a documentary about actors. I thought Laurie Metcalf, Nathan Lane, Ted Levine and others were appearing to talk about the positives and negatives of their profession. Then I thought maybe they were at least playing themselves in the movie. After watching the Kickstarter campaign video I don’t know what the finished result will be. It has a scrip by Ethan Sandler (Whitney… wait, don’t go away yet), so it’s fictional. And in addition to the actors already mentioned, the huge ensemble on board includes Lewis Black, Brent Spiner, Jessica Hecht, Austin Pendleton, Boyd Gaines, Mark Blum, Peter Jacobsen and many more whose face you’d recognize before their name. It’s basically a movie full of “that guy” non-stars. But not Curtis Armstrong, apparently, though he does show up in the campaign video. I guess having someone in your Kickstarter video who isn’t in your movie is like today’s equivalent of having a ton of people in the “Ghostbusters” music video who aren’t in Ghostbusters. Too bad, I like Curtis Armstrong. I had wished Teri Garr was in Ghostbusters, too. Anyway, I’m just typing filler here because there’s not a whole lot to say about No Pay, Nudity except that it will have music by Loudon Wainwright III and it has a pretty funny video hosted by director Lee Wilkof (another character actor himself) and it has some pretty neat incentives, including voice mail greetings from […]

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The English Teacher

This much is obvious about Craig Zisk‘s The English Teacher: Julianne Moore‘s eponymous character is somehow sexually repressed because she’s sporting both a ponytail and ugly glasses. Horrors! Someone give that woman a makeover, stat! The romantic comedy stars Moore as a never-married high school English teacher whose entire world is thrown into a tailspin when a former student (Michael Angarano) pops back into her life with a brilliant play that she’s convinced her relatively staid high school will put on. They won’t, but you know what will get put on? Julianne Moore on Michael Angarano! Oh, yeah! Not messy enough? Well, it looks like Moore also takes a shine to his dad, played by Greg Kinnear. Will it all turn out for the best? Of course it will. Hey, at least there’s potential for Nathan Lane to have a nervous breakdown. Check out the trailer for The English Trailer after the break.

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Let’s come right out with it: Mirror Mirror is a disaster; a jokey, stagy bomb that sputters around like the worst faux-clever high school play you’ve ever seen before it mercifully comes to an end. After 10 minutes, I’d had enough. By the time Armie Hammer licks Julia Roberts’s face, I envied the old lady in Airplane! who hanged herself rather than listen to the rest of Ted Striker’s story. There’s nothing worse than a movie featuring material that everyone involved clearly found hilarious, forgetting to let us in on the joke. Director Tarsem Singh (The Fall) is a great visual stylist, but he’s the wrong director for a campy Snow White rehash that’d barely qualify for ABC Family. The movie looks like a grandiose pageant, boasting the filmmaker’s trademark outsized visual compositions and some ridiculous costumes, but it’s tongue-in-cheek slop, with a bunch of phoned-in dramatics and sprinklings of vaudevillian humor that would have been dated during the vaudeville days. Roberts delivers an annoyingly self-absorbed turn as the evil Queen, who appoints minion Brighton (Nathan Lane, giving the exact performance you’d expect) to kill her step daughter Snow White (Lily Collins), the famed “fairest of them all.” A proud young woman, Snow naturally escapes her fate, finding her way to the seven dwarfs in the process. Together, they engage in banditry and plot to take back the kingdom, while winning over a hopelessly slow-witted handsome prince (Hammer) in the process.

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Looks like the Snow White feature film death race of 2012 has kicked off its second leg with a bang – a terrible, gobsmacking, color-dazzling nightmare of a bang. Tarsem Singh‘s take on the tale of the snow-white-skinned princess and her vertically challenged woodland friends is the more comedic of next year’s dueling Snow White features – Mirror, Mirror is the one that stars Lily Collins, Armie Hammer, Julia Roberts, Nathan Lane, and Sean Bean – though after this first trailer, absolutely no one will mix it up with Rupert Sanders‘ darker Snow White and the Huntsman. Tarsem’s take on the Grimm Brothers fairy tale has long been rumored to be a comedic family adventure, though this first extended look at the film looks more like a comedic adventure for drug addicts and people who think Julia Roberts is capable of pulling off an accent that is somehow not totally laughable. Tarsem’s seemingly pulled together all the elements of the Snow White story – evil queen, lovely princess, dumb bunny hunk o’ prince, dwarfs to save the day – without even a smidgen of irony. Take a bite of the acid-laced apple that is Mirror, Mirror and check out the first trailer after the break.

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This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr feels the weight of the fall movie season. It’s September, and while the kids are heading back to school, he’s playing hooky with Sarah Jessica Parker chick flicks and yet another not-quite-70s-video-nasty remake. Kevin is consoled by the release of Drive, however, because Albert Brooks as a crime boss makes him chuckle. And his love for 3D and Disney meet head-on in a collision of awesomeness.

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What is Movie News After Dark? It is (d) all of the above. “La Luna is the timeless fable of a young boy who is coming of age in the most peculiar of circumstances.” That’s the opening of the synopsis to Pixar’s La Luna, the short that will play the Annecy International Animation Festival next month in France. It’s our adorable headlining image. (Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures)

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There’s a scene (video below) midway through the Doris Day-Rock Hudson romantic comedy Pillow Talk (1959) that has always fascinated me. Through the benefit of hindsight, it’s impossible to watch the scene as it was viewed contemporaneous to its release.

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astro-boy-1

The folks at Summit Entertainment have released a new trailer for the upcoming IMAGi entertainment animated adventure Astro Boy via my favorite alien hostile takeover service, Hulu.

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Kevin Costner and Madeline Carroll look how I feel about Swing Vote

I guess that being a cynical bastard like myself, I just couldn’t swallow the plot.

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published: 10.30.2014
B-
published: 10.29.2014
D+
published: 10.27.2014
C-
published: 10.24.2014
C-


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