Movies That Suck

Richard Roeper, who isn’t a movie critic but plays one on TV, recently said on an episode of “Ebert & Roeper” that zombies make the worst movie monsters. It was at that moment that I put aside my personal, stubborn beliefs, got down on my knees and reconnected with God because I prayed real hard for a real zombie outbreak just to prove Mr. Roeper wrong.

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Nine out of 10 scientists agree, waiting sucks.

The only thing worse than waiting is, of course, more waiting. That moment when you think the waiting is over and just when you think you’ve seen the promised-land, more waiting comes behind it. Its God’s dollar bill tied to a string.

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Lots of people ruin movies. Some do it without realizing it. Others do it because they have nothing better to do. Everyone in Hollyweird does it because that’s how they make a living.

They come from all creeds, all nations, all races, all walks of life. Some of them talk to each other during the movie. Some of them answer their cell phones. Some of them even talk to the screen…

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Being a movie fan is quite a daily struggle. I mean other than trying to juggle our love of imitation popcorn butter and pants that fit.

There are two kinds of movie fans: the fans and the fanatics. The fans have very strong opinions about the kinds of movies they like and the movies they wouldn’t screen to detainees at Guantanamo Bay and then they go about their day.

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