Scientists have worked tirelessly since the invention of Blu-ray looking for a way to capture the essence of Chuck Norris onto a high-definition disc. No matter how hard they tried though his fists, jaw and body hair refused to be contained long enough for the transfer to take. But finally, in the year of our Lord 2012, six years after the format’s debut… they’ve succeeded. Seven of Chuck Norris’ classics are now available in HD. Lone Wolf McQuade (1983) is one manly goddamn movie. Seriously. I grew a full beard over the course of its 107 minutes, and it’s no sketchy patch job either. Chuck Norris plays a bachelor who no woman can tame. His house is a mess, he rolls around in his dusty back yard whenever he wants, he drives a super-charged American-made truck, he drinks Pearl beer exclusively and he has a wolf(-like dog) as a pet. JJ McQuade (Norris) is a Texas Ranger par excellence. He’s tough, he insists on working alone and he wouldn’t be caught dead saying “par excellence.” His captain forces a new partner onto him, and soon the two are working together investigating a wealthy businessman named Eawley Wilkes (David Carradine) who may be moonlighting as an arms dealer. The fight becomes personal when McQuade learns that Wilkes once pretended to play an Asian man on a kung fu television show.