Lindsay Lohan

Freaky Friday

All pointers for unexpected body swaps with family members below were gathered from the latest iteration of Freaky Friday, because Lindsay Lohan.

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Bret Easton Ellis

Bret Easton Ellis‘s novels have had an interesting path to the big screen: the only novel that fully captured his writing is The Rules of Attraction, a movie that divided audiences; American Psycho is a cult favorite that Ellis isn’t entirely pleased with; Less Than Zero, although featuring a great performance from Robert Downey Jr., is a terrible adaptation; and the less said about The Informers, well, the better. However, The Canyons is a film Ellis had a very different relationship with. The LA noir is one of many original scripts he’s written, but it’s the only one that has made it to the screen with the help of Kickstarter, producer Braxton Pope, and director Paul Schrader. The movie is as much a statement about filmmaking as it is anything else, and Ellis had his own statements to make about modern cinema culture and adapting the unadaptable.

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Passion Movie

During a 35th anniversary screening of Taxi Driver at the Indiana University Cinema in 2011, Paul Schrader stated that studios stopped making movies like Taxi Driver a long time ago, and moreover, studios weren’t interested in making movies for adults anymore. Judging by his collaboration with novelist/screenwriter Bret Easton Ellis in The Canyons, it seems he believes Hollywood isn’t interested in making movies anymore. The Canyons portrays an entertainment industry that has collapsed into the things that its product has afforded for its participants: lifestyle and status. The Lindsay Lohan’s Ghost-starring flick envisions a Hollywood in which its movers of money have stopped even pretending to care about the product peddled, instead spending all their time and efforts on the social capital afforded. The stylish restaurants, isolated mansions, cold XXX-capades, and even the privilege of getting away with murder.

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Paul Schrader The Canyons

In The Canyons Schrader has the camera zero in on abandoned movie theaters while Bret Easton Ellis’s script has its characters discussing whether they actually “like movies” anymore. What all that has to do with the plot is up for interpretation, but it doesn’t take a genius to see Schrader and Ellis are talking about the emergence of VOD and new media amidst the piles of old curtains and velvet-backed chairs. Schrader won’t let his camera show hopping movie theaters and audiences eating up popcorn, because that’s not the world Ellis’s characters see. They’re cold, monotone 20-somethings who could care less about today’s movies or movies in general (even as they make one). Maybe Schrader also feels that way about today’s major theatrical releases, but, one thing is for sure: The Canyons is a movie that wasn’t made for 2,000 screens. It’s true low-budget, crowdsourced  indie filmmaking, and because of that (and some other obvious reasons), it didn’t have the smoothest production. That chaotic frenzy was all fuel for the media, and Schrader was holding the match.

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Schrader

You can’t hold a world premiere event for a film inside a television, or over the Internet, or as ordered through a remote control. Sure, you can stream it, or you can record it to watch later, and you can even have someone FaceTime you in, but you can’t hold a true event for a film without getting some butts into some seats, some snacks onto a tray, and a movie onto the big screen. Director Paul Schrader may have made his The Canyons alongside screenwriter Bret Easton Ellis and producer Braxton Pope with the full intent to bow the film on the VOD-enabled small screen, but that doesn’t change the fact that the film was entered into film festivals, or that later this month you can see it in a theater near you in limited release, or even that its world premiere was held in a theater. Last night actually, at the Walter Reade Theater at the Film Society of Lincoln Center, a real theater for real cinephiles, and I was in attendance to take it all in. There was a lot to take in.

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Lindsay Lohan The Canyons

The trailer for The Canyons looks like it will give you a neon-colored STD. There’s no escaping that brash aesthetic element, but the far more common commentary that seems to be happening is the funeral dirge being sung for movies. Some of the first promo imagery for the Paul Schrader-directed sexual thriller featured the crumbling insides of a theater; he recently spoke at length about the “systemic change” facing the filmmaking industry; and the meta nature of a producer (James Deen) and his actress girlfriend (Lindsay Lohan) anchoring the story brings it all home. So it’s not surprising that the latest trailer for the film opens with Lohan’s character rhetorically asking if we still like movies before admitting that she’s just not that into them anymore. Beyond the darkness and forced shock to be expected from anything Bret Easton Ellis is involved in, the quiet death of movies might be something we’ll be getting a lot of in this one. That, and a whole host of bad acting. Wear protection and check out the trailer for yourself:

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Mean Girls

With his debut feature, Heathers, director Michael Lehmann created a cult hit that’s still earning new fans more than two decades after its release. Heathers stars Winona Ryder as Veronica, the newest and most reluctant member of her high school’s popular clique, the Heathers (referred to as such because the other three members are all named Heather). After falling in with a rebel boy named (hilariously) JD, (Christian Slater), Veronica decides that maybe it’s time somebody takes the Heathers down a peg, and maybe it should be her and her new beau. Things get out of control and murdery after that. The film sticks with audiences because it’s honest and brutal in its portrayal of the social strata of high school and the level of abuse that rolls downhill from the popular kids to the geeks. And it sure doesn’t turn a blind eye to the melancholy and melodrama that comes along with having teenage hormones. It faces the issue of teenage suicide head on and makes sick jokes about it, and it’s just that brand of nihilism that young people respond to most. Mark Waters’ Mean Girls isn’t quite yet a decade old, but already it seems to have faded away much more than Lehmann’s look at high school life. This is strange, because not only does it deal with many of the same concerns as Heathers, but it also comes from a script that was written by Tina Fey. From her work as the head writer on SNL, […]

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InAPPropriate Comedy

Perhaps the only thing you need to know about Vince Offer’s InAPPropriate Comedy is that (spoiler? can you spoil a film that you sincerely hope no one you’ve ever met sees? beware?) it ends with the reveal that everything that has taken place previously, every deeply unfunny sketch, every ham-fisted attempt at stirring up controversy, every minute of offensive material presenting itself as shocking cultural commentary, has taken place in Lindsay Lohan’s vagina. To be fair, about three minutes or so do take place in Offer’s wraparound storyline (one so nonsensical that it makes me regret ever poking even the tiniest of holes in the wraparound storyline of V/H/S, a film that should be lauded as one of the greatest cinematic achievements of our time in comparison to the wretched tripe that is InAPPropriate Comedy), which features the ShamWow spokesperson/director/writer living in a sewer where he operates some sort of magical iPad that apparently controls sketch comedy in Lindsay Lohan’s nether regions. Offer’s choice to place himself in a La-Z-Boy in an actual sewer is the only wise decision he makes in the entire outing, and it’s still weirdly indicative of the level of humor in InAPPropriate Comedy, which is to say, incredibly stupid and gross and totally convinced that it’s subversive and cool and insightful.

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The Canyons

After a fair bit of kerfuffle over its rejection from the SXSW Film Festival, Paul Schrader‘s The Canyons has managed to snag a distribution deal from IFC Films. Deadline Hollywood passes along word that the already-controversial film, penned by Bret Easton Ellis and “starring” porn star James Deen and perennial tabloid fodder Lindsay Lohan, will be getting quite the fancy release from the distributors, including a theatrical bow, a digital release, and a “Special Presentation” at the Film Society of Lincoln Center in New York City sometime this summer. Snark aside, if you’re in Gotham this summer, mark your calendars now, this sounds like it’s going to be the cinematic event of the season. Schrader has described the film as “cinema for the post-theatrical era,” and the project utilized a bevy of crowd-funding techniques to raise both funds and awareness (a campaign we’ve covered here, here, and here) so it is, at the very least, an innovative project that will be interesting to track even on the most basic of financial levels (i.e. is this thing going to make money?). The Film Society of Lincoln Center event will include a chat with Schrader and Kent Jones, Director of Programming of the New York Film Festival, so we’ll keep an eye and ear out for those details to pass along to all our New York Rejects.

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lindsay-lohan-james-deen-the-canyons-trailer-01

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s exactly what it says it is… movie news, after dark. Here is What Happens When You Cast Lindsay Lohan in Your Movie – This great expose from the New York Times Magazine exposes the world of Lindsay Lohan, Bret Eastin Ellis and The Canyons. Poor, poor Paul Schrader.

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scary-movie-5-01

Movies that spoof a bunch of other movies that already exist became really popular in the late ’90s. So popular that we’re creeping up on 2013 and people are still putting them out, even though none of them have been remotely watchable for as long as anyone can remember. Why won’t the studios stop punishing us with these painfully lazy, painfully unfunny pseudo-movies? Because far be it from those greed vampires in Hollywood to leave the corpse of any genre alone until they’ve drained it completely dry of every last possible dollar. That being said… MTV has posted a new trailer for Scary Movie 5! Despite the current state of the spoof genre, we shouldn’t have any fear about this one, right? Because this isn’t one of those lousy Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer movies that are so lazy they don’t even bother to write jokes—Scary Movie 5 was written by spoof veterans David Zucker and Pat Proft, who have credits on things like Kentucky Fried Movie, The Naked Gun, and Hot Shots, so it should probably at least be decent, shouldn’t it? Well, not from the looks of the trailer.

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If you logged on to Twitter at all yesterday evening, you were likely bombarded with tweets about Liz & Dick, a Lifetime Original movie that sucked, not to be confused with Lez & Dick, a Showtime Late Night Skinflick. That totally doesn’t exist. As of now. But I’m writing it. Hell, Lifetime was trending, as was the hashtag #lizanddick. What is less than surprising is how badly the film was received, but what has rustled my jimmies is the breadth of the coverage being devoted to it. Is anyone surprised? Does anyone care? Or is this just another chance to ride the easy train?

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“Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor.” That will just never get old. From the moment Lifetime’s “biopic” (term used incredibly loosely) of the tumultuous relationship between Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, now known simply as Liz & Dick, was announced, we’ve had a bit of field day with the project here at FSR. Well, more specifically, I’ve had a field day with it. Is it even remotely possible that this film will be good? (The answer, according to the recent glut of reviews of the film, is a resounding “no.”) That question out of the way, is it even remotely possible that this film will become a modern camp classic? (Sight unseen, we’re going with a big old “yes.”) One hint (beyond all those smashing, in every sense of the word, reviews)? Just look at the marketing on this thing! Specifically, look at some of the stills that Lifetime has released in support of the project! From the first official still, to a closer look at the film’s two stars in character, to one of the worst movie posters we’ve ever had the good fortune to post, not a single frame of Liz & Dick has managed to convince us that the film is a good idea. With the film’s television premiere just days away, why not spend some quality Black Friday time looking back (and looking forward to the film) with a nice, juicy gallery of Liz & Dick stills. So much more satisfying than stuffing. Check out 14 photos from Liz & Dick […]

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The Canyons

Paul Schrader’s next film, The Canyons, was written by famed author Bret Easton Ellis and stars Lindsay Lohan and some male porn star, which earned the project some hype right from the very moment it was announced that held straight through its production. But, despite all of its marquee talent, the movie put out a weird teaser trailer that didn’t seem to have any actual footage from the film and was mostly just a bunch of abstract images shot around L.A. Well, now the film has released a full trailer, and instead of being street photography stuff that doesn’t feature Lindsay Lohan, it’s…something else that’s completely weird as well. It would seem that either The Canyons was shot in black and white, its images have been altered to make this vintage-style trailer, or what we’re looking at still isn’t actual footage from the film. Which of these possibilities sounds most believable?

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The Canyons

With all the time Bret Easton Ellis spends on twitter voicing his unpopular opinions, it was a bit of a shock to discover he found even more time to develop a project with Paul Schrader. That movie, The Canyons, we now have a first look at, and in a nicely unconventional way as well. Schrader’s film earned its financing via Kickstarter, so it’s an appropriate marketing choice to sell the movie as a down and dirty indie. Take a gander at the iMovie effects-ridden teaser for The Canyons (via The Playlist):

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It would be both ridiculous and untrue to suggest that we haven’t been on the Liz & Dick beat since the Lifetime film was announced, but we have tried to (occasionally) tried to shield you, dear readers, from some of the horrors of the Lindsay Lohan-starring “biopic.” We can no longer do that. Now we must all watch the first “teaser” for the film. We must never forget that someone green-lit this project. Stay vigilant. After the break, check out the first teaser trailer for Liz & Dick, which doesn’t so much resemble an actual teaser trailer as it does a moving representation of that horrible first poster for the film. At the very least, this film will be a wonderful inspiration for Halloween costumes for years to come.

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Almost unfathomably, Lifetime’s (your life! your time!) Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton pseudo-biopic, Liz & Dick, continues to actually exist. Sure, star Lindsay Lohan had some troubles while filming (and even before filming, let’s be real here) and, yes, every still we’ve seen of the film has been heinous, but this movie is going to be on your TV soon, goddammit, so let’s look at it. On second thought, maybe not. Here’s the root of the production’s problem (Lohan aside) – it’s a television movie. Liz & Dick just doesn’t have the backing, the funding, or the time to be the sparkly production a Taylor-and-Burton film should be. These two were Hollywood royalty! They were Hollywood! And this is how they’re remembered? As further proof of the slapped-together nature of the film, we’ve got the first poster for the film. It speaks for itself (no, really, it’s just a bunch of words that yell out things we’re supposed to know – “tabloid front page”!). Check it out after the break, if you’re into sullying the memories of stars and such.

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Lindsay Lohan

If you look anything like James Franco, Lindsay Lohan or both, this might be your big break. According to The Guardian (a newspaper that admittedly comes with free grains of salt), the filmmaker is prepping a video art project on himself and Lohan. Apparently there’s a post on the pay-walled Actors’ Access website (a resource for gigs) that calls for Franco-esque and Lohan-ish actors “aged 13, 21, 30, 45 and 60″ to audition for a project being overseen by Franco’s production partners Vince Jolivette and Miles Levy. It seems like only a few months ago that we were all (yes, all of us) were criticizing Franco for doing too much at once. His soap opera appearances, indie films and degree programs seemed like too much for a mortal man to handle. He even looked exhausted hosting the Oscars. The warning signs were all there, but apparently when he gets bored with only 6 or 7 projects on his plate, this is what happens. On the other hand, Lohan has had a pretty insane life so, yeah, okay, this might be sort of…interesting. Self-indulgent? Definitely. Down the ego rabbit hole? Most assuredly. But interesting? It certainly has the potential. If I can humbly submit a title suggestion, it would be Frohan: A Song of Two Humans. Either that or Being John Malkovich.

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Over the course of its pre-production, The Canyons has established itself as being something of a poster child for modern filmmaking. Besides its casting of a couple of recognizable names, like tabloid star Lindsay Lohan and porn star James Deen, the film searched for much of its talent through Facebook auditions. And instead of relying on studio backing to raise funds, the traditional way, its writer, Bret Easton Ellis, and its director, Paul Schrader, raised money through a Kickstarter project, that offered up a bevy of ridiculous prizes backers could win. So what have been the fruits of all of their ultra-modern labors? It’s still kind of hard to tell. A two-and-a-half minute trailer has been released, but it doesn’t seem to contain any actual footage from the film it’s supposed to be promoting. Instead, it just gives us a montage of images shot around L.A., set to a Dum Dum Girls song; no Lindsay, no James Deen, no nothing. Despite the film’s apparent tagline of “It’s not The Hills,” this promo looks like it could very much be the credit sequence of some sort of reality show shot in the city.

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The staff here at FSR have been tracking the development of The Canyons pretty closely. The reportedly microbudgeted film directed by Paul Schrader from a script by American Psycho/Less Than Zero novelist Bret Easton Ellis and guided by indie producer Braxton Pope, The Canyons has gained notice for utilizing social media outlets like Kickstarter to help finance it and Facebook to cast as-yet-undiscovered talent. Now, it appears that legendary acting veterans James Dean and Elizabeth Taylor porn star James Deen and postmodern performance art project Lindsay Lohan will star in the film, which ComingSoon describes as a “contemporary thriller that documents five twenty-somethings’ quest for power, love, sex and success in 2012 Hollywood.” Lohan is best-known for her starring roles in The Parent Trap, Mean Girls, and the Los Angeles district court. James Deen is best known for his roles at Jimmy Olsen in Superman XXX: A Porn Parody, Moe in Simpsons: The XXX Parody, and Egon Spengler in This Ain’t Ghostbusters XXX.

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published: 04.19.2014
A-
published: 04.19.2014
B+
published: 04.18.2014
C-
published: 04.18.2014
C

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