Kyle Gallner

By now everyone knows that after his upcoming two-part hockey flick Hit Somebody, Kevin Smith is done making movies. If Red State is any indication, the time’s right for his exit. Smith’s Westboro Baptist Church-inspired horror-thriller has been making headlines since his ill-fated fake auction following January’s Sundance premiere. He’s taken it on the road, showing it to packed houses across North America. It played a week at the New Beverly Cinema in L.A. The filmmaker’s tweeted about it incessantly. Now, it’s on DVD. And it’s still really, really bad, a simplistic, poorly-constructed exercise in low-rent genre moviemaking. It’s as if Smith made the movie just so he could promote it. Horny Midwestern teens (Michael Angarano, Kyle Gallner and Nicholas Braun) sneak away one school night to have sex with an older woman they’ve met online. Turns out the woman, Sara (Melissa Leo), is the daughter of the psychotic fringe preacher Abin Cooper (Michael Parks) and Abin really, really doesn’t like fornicating.

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kevin-reportcard-header

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr has A Nightmare on Elm Street and suffers some Furry Vengeance

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The actors have signed up for the drama featuring young teen girls who run away to Los Angeles to do bad stuff with skaters.

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Jackie Earle Haley Wondercon

If there were a ranking of upcoming remakes listing the movies in order of necessity, this month’s redo of A Nightmare On Elm Street would sit squarely in the middle of the bunch. Now Michael Bay’s Platinum Dunes production shingle is set to release their update, and WB brought some of the cast and crew to WonderCon to tell us why we should care.

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haunting-in-conn

The only thing haunting about The Haunting in Connecticut is how similar it is to every other haunted house movie of the last three decades.

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