Killer Santa

Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; ho ho holy shit. Just because it’s Christmas, doesn’t mean you get a break from me. I will invade your home with utter disregard for personal boundaries…much like Santa Claus. But unlike the big guy, I only deal in lumps of coal, cinematically-speaking. Every week I stuff your stocking with a rancid little sapling and mock it mercilessly. But then, like a Christmas miracle, I dress it up with misguided praise until it shines like a tiny little beacon of the season. Brings a tear to the eye, doesn’t it? Well save the tears for your lost physique because I promise to then pair the bad film with a stomach-defiling snack food aimed at making your insides a little less merry. Today’s yuletide snack: Silent Night, Deadly Night…

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Editor’s Note: This review first ran as part of our Fantastic Fest 2010 coverage, but Rare Exports sees a limited release this weekend, so we so it fit to re-run it for those interested. As we all know, Santa Claus is not to be trusted. He sneaks into our homes in the middle of the night, and doles out punishment for those who have been naughty during the year. If you’ve been nice, he leaves a gift as a symbolis reminder that he’ll be back, and he’ll be watching. Rare Exports takes a look at the darker side of the Santa Claus myth (which is totally real if you’re younger than 8 years old) by displaying the frightening origins of a magic man who steals bad children. After all, Claus is a type of boogeyman. He’s a figure talked about around the campfire to spook children into behaving. He’s a lot like Keyser Soze. We seem to have forgotten that in America (what with all the Tim Allen movies we can stand), but thankfully it’s something they haven’t forgotten in Finland.

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published: 12.22.2014
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published: 12.19.2014
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published: 12.18.2014
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