Ken Kwapis

Kevin Carr

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr heads out to the drab English countryside to settle a woman’s estate only to find the place haunted. Fortunately, Kevin had already crawled down a mysterious hole and gained super powers, so he’s able to fend off the evil spirits. For a fleeting moment, he considers using his new powers for good, like to save a family of gray whales trapped under the ice in Barrow, Alaska. However, his fear of the 30 Days of Night vampires keep him at home. He then decides to use his new powers to read the subtitles of The Hidden Face so he can enjoy the copious amounts of pretty Colombian breasts.

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We are told early on in Big Miracle that “everybody loves whales!” It’s both an excuse and a rallying cry and, had Ken Kwapis‘ film stuck with its first moniker, it would have also been the title of his latest film. Someone apparently had the foresight to slay that terrible name, but it’s still managed to worm its way into the finished feature, where it’s pronounced earnestly, practically begging for its audience to nod and say, “yep, it’s true – just everybody loves whales.” Strangely enough, it’s that tossed-aside title that sums up Big Miracle quite neatly – earnest, insane, and conducive to crowd participation and (positive) involvement.

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People are almost constantly worried about what Kristen Bell is going to do next because she gained a huge nerd following with one television series and hooked a larger comedy nerd audience as Sarah Marshall. However, even though it might sound like blasphemy, I’ve never really been terribly impressed with her acting. She’s cute, and she’s funny, and she’s beyond endearing, but she’s right where she belongs in rom-com land.

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This year will see the release of the Marmaduke movie, based on a popular strip. Next year will see Steven Spielberg’s Tintin movie come to life. And if all goes well, the following year may see the release of a live-action adaptation of Scott Adams’ two decade old strip “Dilbert.”

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