Joan Cusack

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr gets in his car and hits the road with a can of NOS energy drink and his shaved head. Too bad his car is a 2006 Dodge minivan with collapsible seats and a back-seat DVD player for the kids to use. He didn’t stand a chance in the street racing against Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. After recovering from the cold, hard truth that The Rock stole his look for Fast Five, Kevin goes stag to Prom and suffers through the direct-to-DVD theatrical release of Hoodwinked Too!: Hood vs. Evil.

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This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr finds himself behind enemy lines in Los Angeles. At first, he thought he was the victim of an alien invasion, but then he realized he was just in South Central wearing the wrong colors. Fortunately, Aaron Eckhart came to his rescue. This gave him a chance to put on a red cloak and skip through the woods, searching for Amanda Seyfried. He then capped off the week sneaking on a NASA flight to Mars wearing only boxer shorts, a T-shirt and a space helmet. He plans to return soon because that kind of makeshift space suit worked for the folks in Mars Needs Moms. Don’t wait up, though.

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For authenticity, arrange for someone to rudely call you at dinner time to read this entry and play the trailer for you over the phone. Apparently, the planet Mars needs your mother, and for only the price of a cup of coffee a day, you could be winning back karma points for that hobo you killed in that hit and run last year. The premise of Mars Needs Moms (along with its title) is pretty ridiculous. Martians are coming to Earth in secret to grab women who have taken advantage of their fecundity in order to raise the unruly children of Mars. One young kid (voiced by Seth Green) who doesn’t appreciate his mother, goes on a galactic quest to get her back. I imagine he’ll learn a few lessons along the way about broccoli. Despite the corny (and broccoli-y) nature of it all, the trailer showcases some astounding CGI visuals (the shots of Dan Fogler’s character alone are uncanny). Plus, it looks genuinely funny. It’s got all the standard elements including the adorable robotic dog sidekick that vomits up metal scrap, but a lot of the humor seems to work, and it seems covered in heartwarming goo. So, how much are you willing to donate?[Apple]

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kevin-reportcard-header

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr opens up his toy box to look at Toy Story 3D and Jonah Hex.

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FSR

Kevin Carr reviews this week’s new movies: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and My Sister’s Keeper.

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American Girls Swarm the Chicago Premiere of Kit Kittredge

One of the first celebrities to walk the red carpet was Gracie, a geriatric basset hound played by Meg in the film. Being the ultimate diva, Grace gave no personal interviews.

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Isla Fisher

Isla Fisher will be happy to learn that she now has parents…

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