Jesse McCartney

There is absolutely no satisfying way to explain and introduce Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked in a classic film review format, because of one major hurdle – it’s a film about singing chipmunks that get shipwrecked (sigh, chipwrecked) on a seemingly unpopulated island. It’s hard to believe this is a real film (it’s nearly impossible to also believe that it’s the third film in a franchise), and it’s even harder to attempt to talk about it in a critical and professional manner. But let’s try. Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked opens with human moron Dave Seville (Jason Lee) and his six-pack of fuzzy (children? paychecks? vermin?) heading off on what is meant to be restful holiday cruise. Dave is understandably exhausted after spending years of his life raising six chipmunks – Alvin, Simon, Theodore, Brittany, Jeanette, and the other one – who are also international signing superstars. The seven of them plan to use the cruise to relax before hitting the International Music Awards (sort of like the MTV Video Music Awards, but somehow even less important), where the boys (Alvin and the Chipmunks, so much for Simon and Theodore’s name recognition) and the girls (The Chipettes, much more equal opportunity) will likely rack up a bevy of awards. Of course, the Chipmunks and the Chipettes ultimately get marooned on a tropical island, thanks to (shockingly!) a move by ol’ troublemaker Alvin, a plan so stupid that even these damn singing chipmunks should have realized the depth of their idiocy […]

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Day 2 of the New York Comic-Con is in full swing. The cosplayers are out and the show floor is rocking like it’s 2011. And while there is much to do and so many pictures to take, there were two things in particular that really got me interested. The first was a screening of the pilot for the new ABC series Once Upon A Time. The premise of the series focuses on Emma Swan, (Jennifer Morrison) who after being “greeted” by her ten-year-old son that she gave up for adoption the day he was born, is forced to bring the boy back to his home of Story Brook, Maine. The hook of the series is that Story Brook is, in actuality, a place frozen in time where the likes of Snow White, Rumplestiltskin, Jiminy Cricket, Prince Charming and The Evil Queen live. The problem is that none of them have any memory of who they once were.

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Set your guns to adorable. Then shoot these little bastards.

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Over the course of the last few months we’ve received somewhere in the vicinity of 9 million emails from activists groups complaining about the casting of M. Night Shyamalan’s live-action adaptation of the hit Nickelodeon cartoon The Last Airbender. They want more Asian castmembers. Well now Dev Patel has been cast… is that good enough?

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published: 04.17.2014
B-
published: 04.17.2014
D+
published: 04.17.2014
B-
published: 04.16.2014
B+

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