Jeff Fahey

IFC Midnight

What is the point of prefacing your horror film with text stating that it’s based on a true story? Obviously it’s meant to add additional degrees of terror — this really happened and it could happen to you too! — but while a film like The Amityville Horror benefited from the claim because its veracity was difficult to confirm back in the pre-internet days of 1979 the truth behind today’s movies can be ascertained with a few clicks of a mouse. What I’m saying is please stop opening your horror films with onscreen text pretending any of what we’re about to see is true. It’s dumb, and it more often than not shows a desperation on the part of filmmakers who lack confidence in the quality and power of their actual film. Of course, if you absolutely insist on doing it anyway it helps to follow it up with a strong enough movie that we forget all about your unnecessarily silly intro. Which brings us to Beneath.

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Junkfood Cinema - Large

Editor’s note: With our own Junkfood addict Brian Salisbury busy writing through the typhoon that is SXSW, we’ve farmed out his column to similarly-minded Rejects. This time at bat – Kevin Carr! Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema, where our best exercise is lifting food into our mouths and working those jaw muscles. This week, we’re looking ahead to the future by looking into the past. Remember when reasonable people saw virtual reality for its true dangerous potential: to control people’s minds? You don’t? Well, try telling that to the filmmakers from 1992 because apparently it was a real threat. Today, we’re examining the gloriously convoluted dangers of virtual reality in a world of ooey gooey polygons and cybersex. The film that warned us of these dangers: The Lawnmower Man.

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The temptation to refer to Robert Rodriguez’ new film as Brown Dynamite is strong but for two things. One, while Machete fits a similar mold as Scott Sanders’ hilarious riff on blaxploitation films it just isn’t as consistently good as Black Dynamite. For another, the term “brown dynamite” conjures up some unpleasant imagery especially in the context of spicy Mexican food. But enough about intestinal explosions (for now at least)… let’s talk about this tastelessly absurd, cartoonishly violent, and often ridiculously fun movie!

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Machete

20th Century Fox has released a brand new trailer for Machete, the Danny Trejo led grindhouse style action movie from Robert Rodriguez and co-director Ethan Maniquis. And like the first trailer, there is certainly a lot of promises made. It promises to deliver a movie that’s full of sex, inventive violence and all of the Grindhouse spirit that was infused into the faux trailer upon which it is based. But even though I’m excited — very excited — about the very existence of this movie, I can’t help but feel as if the best shot of this entire trailer is the one taken directly from that same faux trailer. Danny Trejo flying through the air on the motorcycle of doom. And if that’s the best shot they can muster for the trailer, what does that say about the rest of the movie? Alright yeah, it’s still probably going to be a badass ride. Watch the trailer for yourself after the jump…

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machete-1

Robert Rodriguez is moving forward with his long-rumored flick Machete and it looks like may have one-upped sexagenarian stallion Sylvester Stallone’s Expendables in the casting department.

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