Hungry Hungry Hippos

Hasbro’s stock is still way down from last year, but it’s actually climbed upward after the abomination that was Battleship tried to puncture everyone’s eardrums with pure awful. Maybe it triggered more Transformer toy sales? At the very least, something must have worked. Or someone high up thinks it did. Luckily for humanity at large, the toy company is still convinced it belongs in the filmmaking business, financing partnerships that amount to wide-release commercials for their products. As if to calm all of our fears, they announced that they were still dedicated to bringing Hungry Hungry Hippos, Monopoly and Action Man to the big screen. Who knows if they’ll ever actually get made, but if they don’t, we can still get a view into what the trailer for the Hippos movie will look like thanks to our good friend ChugsTheMonkey and his mash-up skills. [Check Out More Mash-Ups]

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Hungry Hungry Hippos

You see what happens when you buy a bunch of tickets to a movie called Transformers? Ever since Hasbro made a gabillion dollars by licensing one of their toy properties for a big screen adaptation, they’ve been trying their damnedest to get every dumb hunk of plastic you played with as a kid into the multiplexes as the latest and greatest summer blockbuster. Already we’ve gotten two Transformers sequels, an abysmal G.I. Joe movie, and a movie about a board game. The disastrous box office performance of this summer’s Battleship and the ending of some of the development deals that Hasbro had with Universal doesn’t seem to be bringing anyone to their senses when it comes to making movies about board games either. The L.A. Times has a report that Hasbro has now signed a trio of new development deals, this time with upstart production company Emmett/Furla, to make more movies based on stupid toys. First in line for development is Monopoly, a movie about that board game with the fake money you always tried to play with your brothers and sisters but never got to the end of before someone quit. Presumably this will be a story about a decrepit old man with a monocle building hotels and taking over railroads, all while bankrupting his friends and loved ones. Sounds scintillating. I hear there’s a scene where he has to go directly to jail that will have you on the edge of your seat. Also included in this dumb deal […]

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toysfeature

Instead of getting irate about all the new, crappy toy adaptations coming down the pipe, let’s celebrate a few toys that could be made into equally crappy adaptations!

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published: 12.19.2014
A-
published: 12.18.2014
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published: 12.17.2014
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