Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Alamo Drafthouse Summer of 1982

The Alamo Drafthouse was already planning to turn the heat up on this summer by looking ahead to the past – celebrating the 30th anniversary the massive 1982 months that made the middle of the year famous for movies. Their marquee already included The Thing, Tron, The Wrath of Khan, Poltergeist and more. Now, the “more” part of that is about to expand. As special badges go on sale (80 bucks gets you the original 8 films), Team Alamo is announcing 7 more flicks to the tour. That includes Class of 1984, The Dark Crystal, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, The Secret of NIMH, Vice Squad and Pink Floyd: The Wall. How they knew that NIMH was my security blanket as an elementary school kid is anyone’s guess. This event was already an awesome trip down memory lane, and now it’s even greater. What’s fantastic here isn’t just the re-release of a ton of excellent movies, it’s the diversity on the board here. Speaking of which, here’s the full schedule, so grab a calendar and a few markers:

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There have already been a surprising number of modern sequels and remakes made from the movies of 1982. Films like The Thing and Conan The Barbarian have remakes coming down the pipe while the Rocky franchise has been continued, and The Dark Crystal and Mad Max franchises have both been promised a latter-day continuation. There’s a lot of rich material there, and this weekend sees Tron: Legacy come out almost three decades after the film it’s following. Of course TRON deserves a sequel because of its large cult appeal and the potential expansiveness that the universe always held. However, there are several other films from 1982 that may even be more worthy to get the way-too-late-in-the-game sequel treatment. Here’s six of ‘em.

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“I don’t understand the concept of bad masturbation,” is how Rob Hunter responded to me pitching this list, and he’s right. No one should understand that concept unless they have the tragic disease known as Sandpaper Hands. However, there is a certain challenge in filming someone masturbating that separates the men from the boys, and the women from the girls. Thus, while bad masturbation may be unfathomable, a bad masturbation scene is easy to imagine. “It is not enough to be abstinent with other people, you also have to be be abstinent alone. The Bible says that lust in your heart is committing adultery, so you can’t masturbate without lust,” is how Senate-seat-seeker Christine O’Donnell responded to an interviewer discussing pro-abstinence groups and their mission not going far enough. These cultural phenomena are colliding in an explosive way. So, in honor of Ms. O’Donnell, we’d like to share the lust in our hearts and a few great masturbation scenes on film.

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FemaleDirectorList

Remember all of those movies you love to sit around watching and loving and talking about? Some of them were directed by women. You didn’t even know that. Did you, you chauvinist pig?

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It’s time for girls to trade in their tube-tops for textbooks and guys to put down the dumbbells in exchange for a mental workout. Here’s 10 reasons to get your ass back in class, brought to you by some of the best films about school… and the letters FS and R.

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published: 12.22.2014
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published: 12.19.2014
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published: 12.18.2014
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