Ed Westwick

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s the only nightly movie news column to be cast in both The Dark Knight Rises and The Hunger Games. It will play the same character in both: a movie news column that, after delivering the news unto the people, rides off into the sunset on a badass motorcycle. It will make sense in context in both films, we promise. We begin tonight with an image of Jack Black in Richard Linklater’s black comedy Bernie, about a small-town mortician who makes friends with an elderly woman (played by Shirley MacLaine). The mustache looks creepy, but the last time Black and Linklater teamed up (School of Rock), Black was at his best. Here’s hoping that happens again when the film opens next month’s LA Film Festival.

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Dan falls for Vanessa’s new roommate, who’s more than she appears. Blair, at her wit’s end over her lack of progress in NYU social circles, receives a report that Jenny is attempting to dismantle the hierarchy at Constance, prompting her to rush back to her old fiefdom in its defense.

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Due to college work kicking my ass over the last month, I’m rolling this week’s and last week’s “Gossip Girl” reviews into one big (late) bundle of joy for your reading pleasure…

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We return to the world of Gossip Girl and her subjects as summer is drawing to a close, with the gang reflecting on the events of the season.

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The upper echelons of Manhattan teenage society have returned to television, so play some catch up and refresh your memory of who’s bitchy and who’s extra bitchy.

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It’s Graduation day and the gang’s all here. When Gossip Girl dismisses Serena as irrelevant, she launches an all-out attack on the cyberland big brother, vowing to discover her (or his) identity.

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Why did I feel the need to sensationalize an otherwise beautiful story between two destined lovers? Do I really need a reason? Death Match it is!

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The gang complete their journey through high school with the time-honored rite of passage – attending Prom.

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Serena and the gang come together in an attempt to take down Poppy, but Lily has other plans. Meanwhile, Rufus discovers that Lily may be just like her mother after all, leading him to reconsider popping that all-important question.

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When Blair and Chuck notice inaccuracies in Gabriel’s version of how he met Serena, a confrontation is ensured.

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Relationships get more complex this week as Serena returns from Spain a (possibly) married woman, while Blair’s attempts to solidify her place in life and society almost destroy her relationship with Nate.

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Serena attempts to prove to herself and the world that she’s not stuck in a rut when she overrules Jenny’s wishes and throws her a spectacular sweet sixteen. Nate decides that he and Vanessa have come to an end, but not before she learns of his renewed friendship with Blair.

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Blair tries to destroy the remnants of her old life in an effort to free herself from the pain of its loss. Despite her repeated brush offs, Chuck refuses to give up on the idea of a life with her, but it seems that some aspects of the past have a certain charm which he lacks.

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As the students of Constance and St. Jude’s perform “The Age of Innocence” as their final year school play, life begins to imitate art. After her dream of attending Yale is shattered, Blair’s drive for revenge alienates her from all her friends and acolytes.

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Gossip Girl strikes again, as rumors surrounding Ms. Carr’s relationship with a student hit the headlines. Drastic punishment is meted out when Blair’s part in this rumor is discovered, but some new evidence throws the case into a different light.

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Serena gets accepted into Yale. Dan gets accepted into Yale. Blair… does not get into Yale?

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Dan dodges Serena in a bid to keep from lying to her, but unfortunately his antics catch the attention of Gossip Girl and her followers.

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Dan and Serena finally prove that we were right to keep watching, but things could get ugly when Dan learns a secret from his dad’s past. Jenny’s return to school upsets the political regime, however Blair is too busy moving onwards and upwards to play referee.

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Bart’s death sends Chuck into a downward spiral, whilst Lily attempts to plan her way out of grief. Serena’s love life becomes more complicated as she realizes that her feelings for Dan are not as dead as she thought.

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Vanessa and Nate come out of the closet, prompting Jenny to join in some Blair-esque revenge.

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