Of course you wouldn’t. That means that either Marchon3D has the dumbest idea in the history of capitalism or their product just isn’t meant for those of us with empty wallets and full brains. The company is going to begin stalking stocking movie theaters (starting in San Diego and Huntington Beach) with vending machines that dispense designer 3D glasses ranging in price from $22 to $70. According to Digital Trends, Marchon3D glasses will all work with RealD as well as passive screens that you might find in and around your household. You can even check out the company’s website to read all the vague reasons that make their glasses superior. “Minimal distracting lens reflections”?!?! Sign me up! Keep the change! As much as this concept panders to people with too much money on their hands (and a desperate need to look great in a completely darkened room), the company might be on to something with their model that clips on to regular eyeglasses. If there’s one complaint that resonates it’s that 3D glasses are a pain in the iris for anyone who already needs glasses to see the movie, and if the Marchon3D model works, it might be a nice accessory for some film fans to pick up. Otherwise, this whole thing, the idea of spending $70 on something the theater gives you for free, is so patently moronic that I wished I’d thought of it first.