Dear John

Nicholas Sparks Evil

Nicholas Sparks is really good at killing people. No one is safe in his books and the movies made from them. In fact, if you’ve gotten close to any of the characters, it’s a fair chance that they will develop a terminal illness, reveal that they’ve been hiding a terminal illness or be struck with a terminal disease called drowning. Sparks is an angry god, and he shuffles off mortal coils aplenty in order to pretend that he writes Greek tragedy and tug despotically at heartstrings. The murdering mastermind has struck again with Safe Haven, capitalizing on the fact that people love crying violently at movies on Valentine’s Day, and like many have done before with Freddy, Jason and Leatherface, it seems only appropriate that we tally up all the bodies lying at Sparks’ feet. Maybe someone can even make a memorial video set to Sarah McLachlan or something. As expected, Spoilers for all Sparks movies abound.

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It’s always a sad week here on This Week in Blu-ray when I can’t even put together a full column because review material isn’t available. However, I did get a chance to look at the release of Dr. Horrible. And I’m here to say that it’s good.

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I typically save the boiling points for Robert Fure, aiming instead to frame my column as an observation of media rather than a critique, analyzing trends and their meaning in the context of film and television as an intersecting object of commerce and art. But there is something that has been getting under my skin in some films released in the past several months, and it’s the way that Hollywood deals with the subject infidelity.

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The story of the hour is that after winning the weekend box office for seven weeks in a row and after setting some big-time records, the reign of Avatar is over. Dear John won the weekend with an unofficial haul of $32.4 million compared to $23 million for Avatar.

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Fat Guys at the Movies

Neil has finished his gallivanting, and he makes his triumphant return to the Magical Studio in the Sky. Get ready to be offended, folks! The Fat Guys are back in action. (And by “action,” we mean “sitting their fat asses on the couch.”)

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Welcome to another The Reject Report and another week where we ask the question of whether Avatar will keep its winning run at the top of the box office going. So far, it seems like there’s nothing that can topple it — not even any of the four other movies going wide this week.

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Hey everyone, we survived the January doldrums! And it wasn’t too bad either, cinematically speaking… Daybreakers and Youth In Revolt were both great fun anyway. So what types of films does February have in store for us? Pretty much a bit of everything actually…

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Dear John never strikes the right balance between a Nicholas Sparks movie and a Lasse Hallström movie.

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Amanda Seyfried signs on to Dear John

Before you get too excited about the title, please note that this news has nothing to do with Mamma Mia! hottie Amanda Seyfried playing a hooker.

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