Chuck In HD

Chuck Norris Code of Silence

Scientists have worked tirelessly since the invention of Blu-ray looking for a way to capture the essence of Chuck Norris onto a high-definition disc. No matter how hard they tried though his fists, jaw and body hair refused to be contained long enough for the transfer to take. But finally, in the year of our Lord 2012, six years after the format’s debut… they’ve succeeded. Seven of Chuck Norris’ classics are now available in HD. The Delta Force (1986) is a step down from Chuck Norris‘ previous film, Code of Silence, in more ways than one. The action leaves more realistic gun fights behind in favor of cartoonish, over the top, shoot from the hip gun-play. The script ignores real drama and conflict for explosions and pro-Americuh jingo-isms. Most detrimentally, it trades director Andrew Davis for Menahem “Ahem” Golan. A jumbo jet in Athens is hijacked by Lebanese terrorists (led by Robert Forster, obviously) and redirected towards Beirut. The US Counter-terrorism unit, Delta Force, is called in to assess and perform a rescue with Maj. Scott McCoy (Norris) and Col. Nick Alexander (Lee Marvin) leading the team. Rockets will be fired from motorcycles. Karate will be used in the desert. And Ronald Reagan will experience his first erection in a decade.

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Chuck Norris Code of Silence

Scientists have worked tirelessly since the invention of Blu-ray looking for a way to capture the essence of Chuck Norris onto a high-definition disc. No matter how hard they tried though his fists, jaw and body hair refused to be contained long enough for the transfer to take. But finally, in the year of our Lord 2012, six years after the format’s debut… they’ve succeeded. Seven of Chuck Norris’ classics are now available in HD. Code of Silence (1985) was Chuck Norris‘ bid at legitimacy as more than just an action star. It may not have been thought of as such at the time, but in retrospect the movie stands out as two thirds of a well written cop drama. It may not sound like much, but most of Norris’ output is of the far more cartoonish variety in both action and plot. That doesn’t lessen their entertainment value, but it makes this effort all the more impressive. Of course, the addition of an honest to god film director in Andrew Davis (The Fugitive) can’t hurt. Det. Eddie Cusack (Norris) heads up a cop squad in charge of drug busts and organized crime activity, but when his latest operation goes bad he finds himself smack dab in the middle of a bloody turf war. Complicating things further one of his squad members kills a boy in the shootout and plants a gun on him to make it look like self defense. Cusack isn’t shy about letting his feelings be known, […]

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People hate Chuck Norris

Scientists have worked tirelessly since the invention of Blu-ray looking for a way to capture the essence of Chuck Norris onto a high-definition disc. No matter how hard they tried though his fists, jaw and body hair refused to be contained long enough for the transfer to take. But finally, in the year of our Lord 2012, six years after the format’s debut… they’ve succeeded. Seven of Chuck Norris’ classics are now available in HD. Missing In Action 2: The Beginning (1985) is the first and only prequel of Chuck Norris’ career. That’s a shame of course because some of us really want to know what made Jake Wilder such a tough cop in Top Dog. MIA 2 was released just a year after the first film found success at the box office, and by any account it’s an unnecessary direction to take. Not only did we already know he escaped from the POW camp but we also saw him escape again. But Hollywood’s sequel/remake machine needs to be fed, so here we are. Col. Braddock (Norris) accompanies a helicopter crew on a mission towards the end of the war, but when the bird is shot out of the sky the survivors are taken prisoner and held for the next ten years in harsh conditions. Finally convinced that no rescue is imminent and forced into action by increasing cruelty, Braddock makes his move for freedom. Can he save himself and his men and escape their jungle captors? (Think carefully, and […]

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Scientists have worked tirelessly since the invention of Blu-ray looking for a way to capture the essence of Chuck Norris onto a high-definition disc. No matter how hard they tried though his fists, jaw and body hair refused to be contained long enough for the transfer to take. But finally, in the year of our Lord 2012, six years after the format’s debut… they’ve succeeded. Seven of Chuck Norris’ classics are now available in HD. Missing In Action (1984) is one of Chuck Norris‘ most popular titles for a few reasons. It was released at the apex of his film career, it has a fairly high body count and it appeals to the patriot in all of us. It also plays to a fantasy as appealing as any revenge thriller… the idea that Americans are still being held prisoner in Vietnam. It wasn’t the best do to so (Uncommon Valor) or the one with the most slurring (Rambo: First Blood Part Two), but it was the only one with Norris. Unless you count the two sequels. James Braddock (Norris) is a Vietnam veteran who spent time in a POW camp before finally escaping a decade after the war ended. He returns a few years later as part of a diplomatic mission to confirm once and for all if American soldiers remain, but Braddock trusts the Commies about as far as he could spit ‘em… and since he’d never take a red bastard in his mouth that isn’t very far at […]

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Scientists have worked tirelessly since the invention of Blu-ray looking for a way to capture the essence of Chuck Norris onto a high-definition disc. No matter how hard they tried though his fists, jaw and body hair refused to be contained long enough for the transfer to take. But finally, in the year of our Lord 2012, six years after the format’s debut… they’ve succeeded. Seven of Chuck Norris’ classics are now available in HD. Lone Wolf McQuade (1983) is one manly goddamn movie. Seriously. I grew a full beard over the course of its 107 minutes, and it’s no sketchy patch job either. Chuck Norris plays a bachelor who no woman can tame. His house is a mess, he rolls around in his dusty back yard whenever he wants, he drives a super-charged American-made truck, he drinks Pearl beer exclusively and he has a wolf(-like dog) as a pet. JJ McQuade (Norris) is a Texas Ranger par excellence. He’s tough, he insists on working alone and he wouldn’t be caught dead saying “par excellence.” His captain forces a new partner onto him, and soon the two are working together investigating a wealthy businessman named Eawley Wilkes (David Carradine) who may be moonlighting as an arms dealer. The fight becomes personal when McQuade learns that Wilkes once pretended to play an Asian man on a kung fu television show.

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Scientists have worked tirelessly since the invention of Blu-ray looking for a way to capture the essence of Chuck Norris onto a high-definition disc. No matter how hard they tried though his fists, jaw and body hair refused to be contained long enough for the transfer to take. But finally, in the year of our Lord 2012, six years after the format’s debut… they’ve succeeded. Seven of Chuck Norris’ classics are now available in HD. The Octagon (1980) was always one of my favorite Chuck Norris movies growing up, and that’s probably because it’s filled with ninjas. My Saturday afternoons often included airings of martial arts movies, both international and domestic. Anyone who did the same knows the former were always far more entertaining than the homegrown variety. Which is why Norris’ films, and this one in particular, hold such fond memories. Scott James (Norris) is an ex-martial arts champion with memories of intense physical training he received as a young boy alongside his slightly more Asian step brother, but he’s also haunted by the death of a friend at the hands of ninja terrorists. (But aren’t we all?) When he gets word that a terrorist training camp is operating south of the border and that they’re dispatching modern day ninjas out into the world he’s forced into action.

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Scientists have worked tirelessly since the invention of Blu-ray looking for a way to capture the essence of Chuck Norris onto a high-definition disc. No matter how hard they tried though his fists, jaw and body hair refused to be contained long enough for the transfer to take. But finally, in the year of our Lord 2012, six years after the format’s debut… they’ve succeeded. Seven of Chuck Norris’ classics are now available in HD. A Force of One (1979) is the earliest of Chuck Norris’ films to hit Blu-ray, and it also has the lowest body count. Coincidence? Doubtful. You get the sense he’s still looking for his own groove here and was as interested in representing the sport of karate as he was in being an action star. And while it was his fourth lead role it’s actually the first to actually resemble a real (ie. professional) movie. Norris plays Matt Logan, a karate teacher hired by the police to train them in the art of self defense. Why? Because a cop-killer is on the loose who’s been dispatching officers with deadly kung fu moves of course.

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published: 11.21.2014
D
published: 11.21.2014
B+
published: 11.19.2014
C+
published: 11.19.2014
B-, C


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