Christina Ricci

Lizzie Borden

Lifetime, the Network for Women Who Have Been Scorned and Are Going to do Something About it, Damnit, is at it again. With the channel’s new penchant for producing stunning, over-the-top biopics of trainwreck starlets and their old go-to of churning out stories about women in grave danger/psychosexual affairs, they have finally found the perfect hybrid in their latest creation: Lizzie Borden Took An Ax. As in, “gave her mother forty whacks,” Lizzie Borden, the woman technically acquitted of brutally slaying her father and stepmother with a hatchet in the summer of 1892, but history and Lifetime don’t really care about that detail. This movie will be about Borden the murderer, with Christina Ricci doing the honors of bringing the long-dead killer back to life on the small screen; as that truly, truly beautiful tagline says — “it’s time to bury the hatchet.” Since this is Lifetime, the poster has Borden re-imagined as a sultry murderess in an off-the-shoulder nightgown with just the cutest smattering of blood on the hem, but looking at Ricci’s coy face and the drag of the ax means that there’s going to be some quality campy murder happening here.

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In good news for people who love bad movies, the current trend of putting together projects that are named after holidays and feature the largest ensemble casts ever assembled seems to be continuing. Director Garry Marshall and New Line Cinema had so much success with their relationship compendiums Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve that some new players are looking to get into the game. Writer/director Paul Duddridge is all set to bring us Mother’s Day, a film that will examine the relationships of twelve different mother/daughter pairings. Not much is yet known regarding the specifics of Mother’s Day’s plot or character descriptions, but Deadline Astoria has all the latest scoops regarding the casting details. Already cast in undisclosed roles are the real-life mother/daughter duo of Susan Sarandon and Eva Amurri Martino, and joining them in keeping the theme of familial authenticity going are the newly cast team of Andie MacDowell and her daughter Rainey Qualley. Christina Ricci is also said to be signed, but there’s no mention of her real-life mother, so boo to her for ruining a nice theme.

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Columbia Pictures and Sony Pictures Animation have just announced that production has kicked off on their inevitable “live-action/computer animated hybrid 3Dfamily comedy” sequel to last year’s smash hit, The Smurfs. The Smurfs 2 brings back all of the cast from the first film, including Neil Patrick Harris as Patrick Winslow, Jayma Mays as Grace Winslow, Sofia Vergara as Odile, Hank Azaria as Gargamel, Katy Perry as Smurfette, Jonathan Winters as Papa Smurf, Alan Cumming as Gutsy, Fred Armisen as Brainy, George Lopez as Grouchy, and Anton Yelchin as Clumsy. Director Raja Gosnell is also back behind the camera. Screenwriters J. David Stem, David N. Weiss, Jay Scherick, and David Ronn are also returning, along with a newcomer to the Smurfs franchise, Karey Kirkpatrick (James and the Giant Peach, Chicken Run, Charlotte’s Web), proving that it takes five screenwriters to write something this unoriginal. The film will have some new faces, however, both on the human and the blue side. Brendan Gleeson joins the cast as Patrick ‘s stepfather, along with Christina Ricci and JB Smoove, who will voice “new Smurf-like naughty characters,” Vexy and Hackus. Uh oh, just “Smurf-like“?

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Speed Racer is the young, hotshot kid that’s going to shake up the world of racing. With the help of his loving family and hot girlfriend (?), he’ll be able to stop the stock scheme of some villain and change the face of race car driving forever. Will Speed find the will to defeat some evil corporate schmuck? Since this is intended to be a kid’s movie, yes, you bet he will! Why We Love It: Dick Tracy + Sin City + The Matrix + The Wizard of Oz + Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory + Wall Street (yes, that Wall Street) + whatever visually eye-titillating movie you can think of = Speed Racer. This film is totally “cool beans,” and that, while featuring flavors of those movies listed, is its own colorfully bombastic beast.

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New York, I Love You

The full-length trailer for the upcoming compilation piece New York, I Love You has hit the web this week. And whether we like it or not, this New York lovefest is happening.

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christinariccistar

Get your mind out of the gutter. Ricci will be playing a girl who is totally not a porn star in Born to be a Star which starts filming at the end of April.

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Those among you with a zest for both the indie and international flavor might just remember a little movie from 2006 entitled Paris, je t’aime. Now, from the same producer and an a-list cast of characters comes New York, I Love You.

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Who

I am very aware of the fact that Speed Racer is a kid’s movie. I don’t care — I’ve had a huge crush on Christina Ricci for some time now, and this is my column, so get over it.

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Speed Racer

Upon screening Speed Racer, the latest attempt by the brothers Wachowski to push the envelope of technical effects in filmmaking, I can come away with one two clear conclusions. On one hand, I have a headache. On the other hand, I have decided that the Wachowskis are sick, in more ways than I can count.

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As if you thought you could escape Speed Racer today, we have yet another extended clip. This time, Apple has posted a great new 4-minute featurette to accompany the 4-minute extended trailer that we brought you earlier today.

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Some people are scared of one thing (Freud was afraid of ferns), and some people are scared of everything.. Take Woody Allen. He suffers from many phobias, including Arachibutyrophobia — fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of his mouth.

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Speed Racer

The verdict is still out on Speed Racer, the next film from The Wachowski Brothers. Will it be as cool as The Matrix? We can’t be sure, just yet. But as for what we can see in this brand new trailer, we are at least interested in seeing more.

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Speed Racer Movie Photo

The Wachowski Brothers’ upcoming film Speed Racer may look cool, and it may be grabbing the attention of big kids like us, but its box office success will hinge on how many families head to the theater to see it in late-May.

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Speed Racer Poster

Speed, Trixie and Racer X all get their own marketing vehicles… And they all go vroom vroom.

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Speed Racer gets another trailer, further fueling the emotional rollercoaster that is the film’s marketing campaign.

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Two more trailers show off the goofy semi-animated wonder that is Speed Racer.

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Penelope is one of those movies that just keeps sneaking up on us for some reason.

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published: 12.23.2014
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published: 12.22.2014
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published: 12.19.2014
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