Cell phone

Boiling Point

Recently at CinemaCon, Amy Miles, the chief executive officer of Regal Entertainment, birthed the idea that movie theaters should maybe consider allowing texting at certain types of movies – basically movies that asshole teens would most likely be seeing. With great and obvious reasons, everyone got up in a tiff over the statement. Tim League, CEO of the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema, which has a famously hard-line stance against phone usage during screenings, responded appropriately: “Over my dead body will I introduce texting into the movie theater.” Granted, if you text during a movie, you’re an asshole, but is it really the worst thing in the world?

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Boiling Point

The full title for this editorial should be “Wear a Watch, You Huge Fucking Asshole” but I’m not sure how we feel about having that headlined across the homepage. You know, because of the kids. As if kids read this site. But if they do, I’m sure they’re the kind of kids who already curse and smoke. You know, cool kids. Anyways, what does wearing a watch have to do with movies? Everything, thanks to cell phones. Obviously cell phones are cool. They let us talk on the go and send text messages, which is kind of like talking but without having to actually find the time or effort to interact with another person. Mine lets me play video games on it, and I’m sure yours gives you a convenient excuse to not talk to whoever is nearby at any one time. What this all means is that cell phones are prolific. They are everywhere. We each own one. I’m sure some of you own two. You might even carry two. I don’t care if one is just for work, you’re still a douchebag. Hold on, don’t go, I’m about ready to connect this to movies. Maybe you’ve already guessed it, but….

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