Cartoons

Boiling Point

I’m not afraid of a little capitalism. Hey, we all embrace it, working every day for the man in the city, or stealing shit. Unless you’re high on bath salts and living off the faces of hobos, you need money. People who have money want more money. Money makes the world go round. When people don’t make the money they think they deserve, or the money they want, or they just think that more money would be better, they complain about it. Hollywood is full of whiny babies, whether it’s studios, actors, directors, or theater  chains. They’re all obsessing over money. There are at least a dozen different boiling points that could be about money and who’s crying the most, but this one points the finger at the theater chains.

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Woody Woodpecker, the insane, animated avian menace originally voiced by Mel Blanc has his own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Let that sink in for a moment. A cartoon character has the kind of recognition that your parents won’t ever give you. And he’s about to have more. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the ancient icon is about to have new life in a new movie project from Illumination Entertainment (Despicable Me, The Lorax) and Universal. John Altschuler and Dave Krinsky, the writers behind Blades of Glory, are in negotiations to create the story. Even though the character hasn’t been seen in film since a cameo in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, he’s been on television as late as 2002. Theoretically, there’s a cross-sectional audience for his wacky antics. But what kind of story can they build around him? My hope is that he has to team with Michael Jordan to play an interstellar game of basketball for the fate of humanity. This, of course, comes weeks after the Universal head admitted they made shitty movies. Just for fun, here’s my favorite of the old Woody Woodpecker cartoons, and yes, it’s solely for the fact that he opens a bottle off a dope’s giant buckteeth. What a maroon:

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Everybody has that children’s program that holds a special place in their hearts. For some it’s Transformers. For others it’s The Muppets. Many would say Sesame Street. And plenty hold some classic Nicktoons up to a high standard. For me, (despite my constant cheering for the classic Nicktoons I just mentioned) nothing tops The Looney Tunes. Bugs, Daffy and the rest of the crazy bunch always managed to put a smile on my five-year-old face. And when I refer to the bunch, I’m not talking about the abortions that are the films of the last few years. I’m talking about all those great cartoon shorts from back in the day. Back when political correctness wasn’t a term, and good writing was important, regardless if kids could get the jokes or not.

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For years, scientists have known exactly how the continents got their shape and placement on the Earth, but they’ve kept it hidden from us because the truth is a bit too shocking. It’s also the cause of the dead birds and fish, the missing single socks in laundromats, and why the moon keeps turning you into a werewolf. Fortunately, the fine folks behind the Ice Age movies have just released a fantastic short featuring their beloved Scrat – the Buster Keaton of pre-historic rodents. Watch, learn and laugh:

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TCM Classic Film Festival

The inaugural TCM Classic Film Festival brought the cable channel to the silver screens of Hollywood Blvd. movie theaters for four days playing the likes of Grauman’s Chinese and the Egyptian. Much like the channel, the festival’s programming spanned the medium’s history, and as a bonus, many of the selections featured introductions and Q&A’s from participants, their relatives, and peers.

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Officially Cool

I have always loved the animated Marvel cartoons, maybe because you can do anything with animated characters. Maybe it is because I am still a big kid at heart. Nonetheless, here are three awesome classic Hulk cartoons for your viewing enjoyment.

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Boiling Point: CG Animation

Robert Fure gets animated, and angry, over missing his traditionally animated cartoons.

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published: 04.19.2014
A-
published: 04.19.2014
B+
published: 04.18.2014
C-
published: 04.18.2014
C

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