Captive

Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Expendables 2

Just like a cybernetic killing machine from the future, Arnold Schwarzenegger just can’t be stopped. Sure, he can take long breaks between sequels or be a two-term Governor of one of the biggest states of the union, but he’ll always be back. Now that his political tenure has come to an end, Arnold is going back to doing what he does second best: acting. First best is lifting heavy things, of course. Aside from his cameos in The Expendables and Around the World in 80 Days, Schwarzenegger has been absent from the big screen for around nine years – his last leading role was Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. If your life somehow felt more meaningless in that period, you are not alone – and relief is coming as we break down Schwarzenegger’s upcoming confirmed and rumored film appearances.

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Let’s face it. Arnold Schwarzenegger is the greatest actor of this generation. There were some dark days for moviemaking when he took that foray into politics in order to save California from itself, but it’s starting to appear like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. After a little hiccup involving impregnating the help, it’s looking like Arnie’s comeback to acting is going full speed ahead. His first foray back into the world of kicking ass and taking names will see him playing an aging law man in the upcoming Last Stand. Also, all of those rumors that he would have an extended role in The Expendables 2 have now been confirmed as true. That’s more Schwarzenegger than you can shake a stick at already, but Deadline Freistadt is reporting that things might be getting even more Schwarzeneggery real soon. Apparently the pinnacle of human perfection is now negotiating to star in a film called Captive, which would see Arnie playing an American real estate magnate living in Brazil who gets kidnapped and held for ransom. This one is being described as an action thriller, so I can only guess that things don’t go so well for the kidnappers once they get Schwarzenegger in their hideout. I’m picturing him ripping off their limbs and using them as clubs. Now I’m picturing him ripping off their genitals and shoving them down their throats. Probably he says something clever after doing it, but I don’t know what; that’s why they […]

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