“It’s me, your penis!” On a list of things you’d probably never think you’d hear when you answered the phone, that’s probably at the top, right? Then again, you’re not Cam Gigandet, one of the Twilight vampires whose name didn’t rhyme with with Shmobert Shmattinson, and are therefore destined to pick up a few questionable phone calls on film here and there. With Bad Johnson, Gigandet has a problem with his penis. Oh, it works fine. Too well, in fact. But there it is, existing, getting him in trouble all the time. Because Gigandet is a man who has needs and can’t just not have sex. What are you, crazy? Because of his insatiable need to bone, Gigandet is a masterful womanizer, picking up chicks and putting them down as soon as the next vagina comes across his line of vision.