Brian Robbins

Kevin Carr

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr heads to the desert to hide in a cave, hoping against hope that some mystical bald alien will beam him to Mars so he can make a pass at the ridiculously gorgeous Lynn Collins in a brass bikini. Unfortunately, no one came to his rescue, so he snuck into an abandoned house in upstate New York to terrorize some people. Again, no one came. That left Kevin to skip his movies this week so he could go to the library and find a book that would allow him to curse Eddie Murphy into not speaking. He hasn’t been heard from since.

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What an epically bad week for Eddie Murphy – Tower Heist didn’t do so hot at the box office, then Brett Ratner had to go and run his filthy and idiotic mouth all around town, and almost immediately both Ratner and Murphy were out as Oscars producer and host, respectively. But no matter how bad Murphy’s week is, it’s absolutely no excuse for this latest Murphy monstrosity, a trailer for the heinous A Thousand Words, conveniently appearing on the Internet just as Murph-buzz reaches its fever pitch. The plot of A Thousand Words is essentially that of Liar Liar with a slight (very, very slight) twist. Eddie Murphy plays an asshole who finds out he can only utter a thousand more words before he dies. That’s it. Hilarious, right? If you haven’t had enough Murphy-based shenanigans in your week so far, check out the trailer after the break. I warned you.

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