Breck Eisner

Breck Eisner to Direct Stretch Armstrong

“Stretch Armstrong was in the shape of a small well-muscled blonde man wearing a pair of underwear. Its most notable feature was that the doll could be stretched from its original size (about 15 inches) to four or five feet. However, if a tear did develop, it could be fixed with an adhesive bandage…There are still Original Stretch Armstrongs that have survived the passing of time and are remarkably preserved through sheer luck or being stored at the correct temperature…Stretch Armstrong is made of latex rubber filled with gelled corn syrup, which allows it to retain shape for a short time before shrinking to its original shape. The later 1990s figures had small beads inside them.” Of course we need a movie about this man. Of course we need to know more about his life, his origins, his dreams, his wishes. How does Stretch Armstrong feel? What is gelled corn syrup? Do the beads tickle his insides? How does he keep smiling even when his life is being pushed to the very limit? What about melting? We’ve long known that we were, for whatever reason, in for a Stretch Armstrong movie, but the project has been tossed around, discarded, and forgotten so often (much like an actual Stretch Armstrong doll) that it seemed as if it might never happen. Incorrect! Relativity Media has announced that director Breck Eisner is set to helm the film, one that will be “gritty” and filled with “life-or-death consequences.” What?

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Breck Eisner

You’d imagine it would be easier to kill a piece of rubber filled with flour, but Stretch Armstrong just will not die. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Breck Eisner (The Crazies, Sahara) is in talks to direct the feature over at Relativity. This is the next thing in a pile that Eisner’s been either attached to or considering – remakes of Flash Gordon, The Brood and Escape From New York. So, it’s either remakes (which he admittedly crushed last time) or a Hasbro toy movie on the menu for Eisner. He’s a welcome addition to the production, but this thing is still ridiculous and terrible-sounding. Even without Taylor Lautner.

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What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly movie news column that refuses to wear a fat suit. Unless it’s Halloween, because then it will be dressing up as Patton Oswalt. Because no one else is doing it, even though they should be. For those who have not heard yet, Eddie Murphy will host the upcoming 84th edition of the Academy Awards. According to show producer and Murphy fanclub vice president Brett Ratner, Eddie Murphy was meant to be Oscar host. Because the golden guy’s special night needs nothing more than a little fatsuit comedy — that’s why!

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For every ten unnecessary remakes that make it to the big screen it’s worth remembering that once in a while we dodge a bullet. The most recent example being the big budget reboot of John Carpenter’s Escape From New York. Carpenter’s admittedly goofy but entertaining as hell classic from 1981 has been on track for a remake for some time now. Every few months names of newly rumored directors and stars would hit the blogosphere including Brett Ratner, Len Wiseman, Gerard Butler, Jeremy Renner, Tom Hardy, and Breck Eisner. Of those only the last was really appealing in the slightest as Eisner turned in a fine horror flick with his remake of The Crazies, but this was never an endeavor to getting excited over. The original film is set in the far away future of 1997 where the island of Manhattan has been turned into a walled prison (still a great idea) that no one ever exits. Air Force One crashes inside and Snake Plissken, an ex-soldier turned convicted bank robber, is given a single shot at freedom… get in, find and rescue the US President, and get him out alive. There’s a lively supporting cast including Donald Pleasance, Isaac Hayes, Harry Dean Stanton, Ernest Borgnine, Lee Van Cleef, and Adrienne Barbeau, but the real stars of the film are Carpenter and Kurt Russell. It’s a fantastically fun ride that mixes action, cynical humor, and social/political commentary into an entertaining B-movie. Per Deadline New Amsterdam, New Line and Warner Bros. […]

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The Coroner

On a recent trip to Ogden Marsh, we drank the water, lost our minds, and reviewed the Blu-ray of one of 2010s Best Horror Films – The Crazies, starring Rob Hunter’s boyfriend Timothy Olyphant.

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Remember a few years ago when news first broke about plans for a remake of John Carpenter’s Escape From New York? Roughly three years ago actually. Well someone still thinks it’s a good idea.

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Early this morning — about 10 am, which is early to any movie blogger — I sat down with director Breck Eisner to talk about The Crazies. It was a unique situation for both of us. I had spent 4 of the last 12 hours of my life running a crash-course on the 27-year existence of The Crazies, watching both George Romero’s 1973 original and Eisner’s remake seemingly back-to-back. For Eisner, today is opening day.

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kevin-reportcard-header

Kevin Carr sits his chubbiness down weighs in on Cop Out and The Crazies.

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In some regards, Breck Eisner’s new film The Crazies is the horror genre’s The Hurt Locker. What exactly do I mean by that boldly nonsensical statement? We’ll get to that in a minute. But first I want to talk about a few horror film cliches that crop up in the final half-hour…

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In early February, we debuted three exclusive new photos from the upcoming Breck Eisner directed remake of George Romero’s The Crazies. In fact, I noticed that more than a few sites debuted photos over the past few weeks. There were a lot of images floating around, but they all resided in different places around the web. Now that Overture Films has released their final press kit, we have all of the photos from The Crazies — in one place. Now you can see some of the scary ones, the funny ones and the ones with the ever-lovely Radha Mitchell. The Crazies is in theaters February 26, 2010.

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Lets get right to the point here. Overture Films has provided us with three brand new exclusive images from Breck Eisner’s The Crazies, a reinvention of the George Romero classic.

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crazies-radha

Overture Films has released a new photo from their upcoming thriller The Crazies, a Breck Eisner directed reinvention of a George Romero classic.

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Flash Gordon

Some of you may not realize this, but if it were not for a 1930′s comic strip called Flash Gordon, there’s a possibilty that the genius and legacy that is Star Wars wouldn’t exist today.

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The Creature from the Black Lagoon

Sci Fi Wire is reporting that director Breck Eisner, whom you may know from the sub-par adventure movie Sahara (sub-par because Matthew McConaughey was in it) will remake the 1954 horror classic Creature From the Black Lagoon.

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