Born to Be Wild

This week, Fat Guy Kevin Carr spends a long day in the multiplex, checking out a variety of films from alcoholic romantic comedies to nature documentaries with elephants and orangutans. He drinks himself silly and hits on Greta Gerwig in Arthur, narrowly escapes being killed by ass-kicking teen assassin Hanna, narrowly escapes getting his arm bitten off by a tiger shark in Soul Surfer and peeps in on Natalie Portman undressing for a swim in Your Highness. Too bad she’s pregnant now, ‘cause Kevin just ain’t into that scene.

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The Reject Report

Ah, remember Dudley Moore and how funny he was in Arthur with the top hat and the bubbles and slurred speech? What’s that? You know the name, but you’re both under 30 and can’t stand the classics? Warner Brothers is hoping for that, too, as they’ve now remade the film starring Russell Brand. Now they’re hopes rest on it returning an Arthur-sized fortune. That could be very well what happens here, and Brand will probably have his name splashed all over the #1 and #2 movies this weekend. He’ll have some competition from some pothead knights, a pair of adolescents. One is an assassin. The other is a surfer. The surfer might not be much competition, but that pairing would make one hell of a buddy movie.

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Born to Be Wild 3D is standard scientific IMAX fare that trades on an indisputable fact: Ecologically friendly movies about cute animals are just about impossible to resist. That’s even more pronouncedly the case when they unfold across settings as exotically picturesque as the wilds of Kenya and Borneo, with sweeping helicopter shots of the savanna and jungles molded to close-ups of the sweet, sad faces of orphaned orangutans and elephants. Throw in the honey tones of Morgan Freeman’s soothing narrative diction and keep things to an astoundingly brisk 40 minutes and you’ve got a recipe for success, albeit of the sort that’s best seen as a companion to a larger trip (a zoo or science center visit, for example) than a destination in itself.

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