Blue Lagoon

Unsexy Sequel

Once again we enter the Summer of Sequels. It can be argued the sequel may have originally been meant as a companion piece to an original fan-favorite, but now studios pump them out in hopes to continue making more money off a familiar formula. This is no surprise to anyone who ventures out of their hole and into the shiny lights of the world. Or at least watches TV. Summer movie releases are almost always exclusively geared towards big audiences and the dollar bills they bring with them. And those audiences like to know what they are getting themselves into. This is in no way a bad thing, as I personally cannot wait for more awkward nakedness in the final Harry Potter film (I mean, what was that?) or the potential for shirtless Michael Fassbender time in X-Men: The Last Stand. But as reassuring that watching a hyped sequel can be, they aren’t all The Dark Knight. More often than not the sequel is a disappointment and audiences spend half the movie racking their brains to see if they know anyone with the quantum physics knowledge to build a time machine or a connection at the Ministry of Magic to garner a Time Turner. (I just cannot wait for Harry Potter, I’m sorry!) And in the world of sexy movies, the sequel can be the road block keeping the original from greatness. Basic Instinct excited our minds and tingled our tenders, but when the 2006 follow-up hit screens fans could […]



Last week I explored how emotionally and physically painful losing one’s virginity is for the ladies. The women discussed all held on to their v-cards like prized pies at a county fair, and when they gave it up disaster often struck. Be it mass suicide, unwanted pregnancy, abortion, or (worse yet) feelings, each movie addressed this entirely relatable coming-of-age experience. While many of us look back at our first time through rose-colored glasses, it was watching movies growing up that helped us come to terms with what happens to our bodies, feelings, and sexual futures. Thank god, for every female virginity tale, there are female sex positive films, family friendly fantasies, and Golden Years send-offs. But what about the boys? Unlike women centric virginity films, the boy’s story is often considered awkward, comical, and down-right head slap inducing. Why are boys never given as much respect in sexual awakening stories as the girls, who consequentially are considered fragile glass eggs. I could sit here and list off all the hilarious comedies where a terribly geeky boy not only kisses but fucks the girl of his dream, but I think there is something deeper to explore in these movies.  Losing our virginity is a push into adulthood, an emotional journey for some and anticlimactic for others. But no matter what sex for the first time only makes us want it more.



Rejoice! It’s not all doom and gloom when it comes to remakes. There’s a ton of 80s movies that aren’t being remade, and here’s just a handful of the ones we’re most thankful for.

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published: 01.26.2015
published: 01.26.2015
published: 01.26.2015
published: 01.26.2015
B-, C-

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