Bloodrayne

My guess is Zack Snyder is a pretty kinky dude. 300 and Watchmen were dripping with over-the-top sexuality and you know somewhere on the cutting room floor of Legend of the Guardians is a steamy owl mating scene, but it wasn’t until the trailer for Sucker Punch collectively melted our brains with sensory overload that we realized Snyder was into some crazy, whacked out stuff. School girls, burlesque dancing, samurai Swords, copious amounts of leather — was this a Hollywood blockbuster or a feature-length Suicide Girls video? Few people have seen the finished film, but if anything is to be assumed, it’s that Snyder made the movie he wanted to make — and that’s cool. That abashed commitment to personal taste makes Sucker Punch unique…and, perhaps, borderline fetishistic. Here are seven other films that we imagine were crafted with that same burning, unconventional passion:

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Uwe Boll is suing Billy Zane

Uwe Boll is suing actor Billy Zane over a sticky financial situation arising from 2006’s Bloodrayne.

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Uwe Boll

When our friends at Slashfilm posted the story about legendarily-bad director Uwe Boll quitting the film industry for good if a petition garnered one million signatures, I found myself foolishly hopeful for about five minutes. Then I realized that there was no way it was going to work.

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published: 10.30.2014
B-
published: 10.29.2014
D+
published: 10.27.2014
C-
published: 10.24.2014
C-


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