Blaxploitation History Month

Hell Up In Harlem

Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; we take our Coffy black…and with six spoonfuls of Häagen-Dazs. You have just stumbled Across 110th Street and Hit! the internet’s most Boss bad movie column like a Hammer, and there’s No Way Back. Every Friday (Foster), we Drum up another Jive Turkey, becoming Mr Mean as we Savage! and Slaughter the movie right In Your Face. But then, as if we were a Thing with Two Heads we lay aside all our Hangups to tell you why we think the film is actually Super Fly. Then, for The Final Comedown, we’ll offer a Big Time delicious themed snack food item for you to cram down your food Shaft. This week’s big score: Hell Up in Harlem Alas it is time once again to bid farewell to Blaxploitation History Month, and this third incarnation in which we’ve focused on the best of the best worst blaxploitation sequels. We may not have broken any new ground or radically advanced the medium of irreverent film journalism, but some how, against all odds, we managed to undeniably not get sued. So please enjoy this chicken we just counted well before it hatched.


Sweet Revenge Candy

Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; enjoy a bowl of our Sugar-Coated Pimp Smacks. We recently asked blaxploitation icon Isaac Hayes to write a theme song for this week’s entry. He politely declined, as he is currently dead, but we think his song would have sounded almost exactly like this… There’s some dudes on floor; with indigestion, stomachs sore. What hit ‘em? Junkfood Cinema! Watching bad films all day, who threw their integrity away? Junkfood Cinema! We’ll tell you what makes them so fine, what puts the stars in our eyes. So bad, but who loves them? Junkfood Cinema! To top this thing with a cherry, we offer you a snack that’s so very…so very delicious. Junkfood Cinema. Thanks Isaac, we hope you’ll forgive us. Today’s Sweet Sweetflick: Slaughter’s Big Rip-Off.


The Human Tornado

Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; Truck Turner isn’t just what we call Brian when Tacos-On-Wheels runs out of Baja sauce. Welcome back suckas, to the Internet’s freshest bad movie column; this month featuring a funky twist. This is Blaxploitation History Month: Sequel Edition. Every week in February, we’ll be rolling out another super bad blaxploitation sequel that’s so whack we can’t help but dig it. We’ll lay down some cold-blooded mockery on said film, going upside its head with its own numerous faults, but then will jump back, kiss ourselves, and get hip to all the reasons we think these movies are dy-no-mite. To top it off, we’ll serve you with a badass, and bad for you, snack food item themed to the movie. Today’s jive turkey: The Human Tornado.


Cookies and Scream

Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; the jiveness of our turkey is a byproduct of its being deep-vat chocolate-fried. Welcome friends, to the mean streets of Schlocksburgh. Every week, we pick on some fast-talking, upstart bad movie out to make a name for himself, roughing him up with sucka punches of merciless mockery. But then, just when we think we’ve won, that movie kicks in the doors of our gentlemen’s club, The Cynical Shit Heel, and proceeds to blow us away with two well-aimed barrels of undeniable amiability. Then, in acknowledgment that this brash movie from the block now unquestionably owns our territory (and our hearts), we humbly offer a tribute in the form of a funky, themed snack food item. It’s finally February again…is a sentence few people are wont to utter. But here at Junkfood Cinema, February means one thing and one thing only: Blaxploitation History Month. That’s right, it’s a grand tradition that, to this day, has somehow failed to get us banned from the Internet forever. Some might charge that our adoration for this controversial subgenre reeks of poor taste. I for one resent the implication that we here at JFC have any taste whatsoever. I won’t go into the sociopolitical critiques of blaxploitation because, well frankly it’s boring. But I can tell you that I legitimately love these films and I am so grateful for the actors and characters to which they’ve introduced me. Given that this is our third annual celebration of blaxploitation, I’d say […]



Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; we blame the schools. This is the weekly movie column that shines a more favorable light on China’s plan to censor the internet. Every Friday I thrust a nice big bit of schlock in your face and expect you to smile as I wave it around with all its faults. Not to be labeled as someone with taste, I will then describe exactly why I love the terrible movie in question. To cap it all off, just before your lengthy and expensive therapy regimen begins, I will offer a tasty snack inspired by the film. This week we wrap up another successful, if borderline offensive, Blaxploitation History Month with one of my all time favorites: Slaughter.



Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; written by a jive-ass honky. In the interest of remaining true to the blaxploitation films I’ve been lovingly lampooning, and inspired by the lyrical stylings of Rudy Ray Moore, I have decided to rap this week’s introduction. Feel free to follow along below, but to really appreciate the authentic awfulness of my rap, it’s best you hear it aloud. If you haven’t already run screaming from the computer, click below and marvel: With utter disregard for credibility, it’s Friday suckas so it’s time for J-F-C. In what can be described as the opposite of groovy, I will now subject you all to a terrible movie. Describing its faults ain’t nothing but a thing, but admitting my obscene love for it could land me in Sing Sing. As if this weren’t enough to incense and offend, a disgustingly tasty snack awaits you at the end. So prepare your eyeballs and bid farewell to your diet, Blaxploitation History Month ain’t over yet. Today’s Snack: Coffy.



Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; all we are saying is give pizza a chance. This is the internet’s least favorite weekly column but the most revered among the morbidly obese, the insane, and the insane obese. Every week I subject you, the innocent readership, to a spectacularly bad film and try to count on one hand the reasons it falls short of competent. But then, like a politician, I will flip the flop and breakdown all the reasons I love it. To add to this decoupage of terrible, I will then pair the film with a food item bearing a nutritional value equivalent to the intelligence quotient of the film. This week we continue the imperative sociological experiment known as Blaxploitation History Month with the immortal Dolemite.


Black Belt Jones

Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; scientifically proven. This is the weekly internet column with a permanent case of the munchies. Every Friday I serve up a jive cinematic turkey which I then proceed to slap all up and down with snark. But I temper that by showering it with sweet, sweet affection because I am in fact a lover of bad movies. Wow, is it hot in here or is it just…wholly inappropriate. To complete this weird little combo plate, I will then pair the film with a themed snack food item that will judo kick you in the intestines the way the movie backhands your brain. It is February again and, apart from marmots predicting the weather and an onslaught of inedible candy hearts in the forecast, that can only mean one thing: Blaxploitation History Month! As should be readily apparent to everyone at this point, I am something of a fan of various types of ‘sploitations, but my favorite of the lot has to be the incredibly entertaining, if often more-than-mildly offensive blaxploitation. We can argue the merits/problems with this subgenre all day, but the fact is that it produced several certified badass films and propelled to stardom many performers who otherwise may not have had an opportunity to shine. As such, the month of February will be devoted to showcasing four more of my favorite blaxploitation films. Today’s snack: Black Belt Jones

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published: 01.28.2015
published: 01.28.2015
published: 01.28.2015
published: 01.27.2015

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