Battleship

What is Movie News After Dark? It’s the calm, both before and after the storm. It’s the thing that keeps you warm just before you slip into a night’s slumber. It’s the movie news, editorial links, audio-visual stimuli that you yearn for all day long. It’s the alpha and the omega of what’s happening in the world of entertainment news. It’s also quite playful. We begin tonight with a new shot of Bruce Willis in G.I. Joe: Retaliation, in which he plays Joe Colton, the original G.I. Joe. It’s hard to argue with the facts: that man knows how to look cool holding a gun, even if the gun in the hands of Adrianne Palicki (seen behind him) is far more badass.

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When asked at WonderCon 2012 about the forthcoming Battleship, Peter Berg told The Hollywood Reporter what the world already knows: that the movie has nothing to do with the game it’s based on. “It certainly doesn’t have any direct correlation to the game. That being said, it was a lot of fun to try to find way to reference the game. If you look at the ordinance that the enemies use, it looks a bit like pegs. Both of our ships’ radar systems have trouble seeing each other, so they gotta try and predict where the enemy is so that they can go after them. And there were some other things that were kind of fun,” said the director. So there you go. Apparently a tiny, peg-based production design and the fact that radar systems are imperfect are enough to constitute name recognition. This is Hollywood at its most moronic, and it’s nice to see that Berg recognizes that. They should stick it in the commercial for Hasbro. Without sarcasm, it’s refreshing to see that the production isn’t falling all over itself to try to sell something that no one’s buying anyway. A little honesty can go a long way.

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Unfortunately for this year’s WonderCon, I was only able to spend one day at the convention. When busting your cherry, convention or otherwise, it is often best to go nice and slow. While I’d have loved to get a few more hours at the convention, which moved to Anaheim, California, this year, I did more than just get my toes wet. Because it was raining. I spent the better, longer part of Saturday sitting in the massive ballroom at the Anaheim Convention Center, just down the street from Disneyland, staring up at a gigantic screen projecting clear images of actors, actresses, writers, and directors which, to my naked eye, were tiny specks about a quarter of a mile away. The panels I managed to get into included Lockout, Battleship, The Amazing Spider-Man, and Resident Evil: Retribution, so let’s all take a look together at the joyous cinematic wonders they had to show!

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Look, Battleship will probably end up proving that it has at least a few original ideas in its head. Someone out there has to have shoved in one or two scenes that don’t look exactly like other movies, but the trailers certainly aren’t out to prove that. Nevertheless, it’s time to stop ragging on this flick for being a moronic idea and time to start ragging on it as a clear patchwork of other movies. Somehow, Universal has bypassed the need to do Hollywood math by simply copying and pasting directly from other films that have been successful. Why make something like Iron Man or like Transformers when you can go ahead and just make them again under a different name. Watch this new trailer and try to say with a straight face that the alien design isn’t Iron Man with a paint job. Watch the giant building collapse and try not to think up 5 other movies within the past 2 years where it’s happened (and try extra hard not to imagine the exact same scene in Dark of the Moon). No one says much of anything. Probably a good thing. But, whew, the action sure does look eye-popping.

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Boiling Point

AMC’s The Walking Dead and I have a strange relationship in that I watch it but don’t particularly care for it. I can’t really tell you why I tune in every week, but it has something to do with my great love for the comic books and a desire to see horror on television, mostly regardless of quality. The books by Robert Kirkman have always had a bit of melodrama about them, but the show has often taken that to obvious, soap opera levels. “The Walking Dead” comics feature a great cast of characters with complex motivations and relationships. Many of those characters made it to the television show – well, at least characters with the same names made it in. Things have changed so drastically from comic to screen that one has to ask – when does an adaptation stop being an adaptation?

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Director Peter Berg is making his bid for A-level status (box office-wise) this summer with an adaptation of the Hasbro game Battleship. That, by the way, is a complete misuse of the term ‘adaptation’ seeing as the game has zero story elements to adapt. Maybe if the movie featured naval combatants going head to head and controlled by unseen forces? Or if the aliens were manipulating ships to fight each other? I don’t know, I’m just spit-balling here, but you can see how difficult it would be to make a good movie from the game. So why do it? Obviously Universal is hoping to find the same success with Hasbro that Paramount has with their Transformers movies, but it’s still so nonsensical. The Battleship name offers no recognizable pull for audiences. These aren’t fighting robots that viewers have seen in action previously on TV or via toys in their hands…this is a board game with no moving pieces. The film could exist exactly as is under a different name and would end up with the exact same box office results. Check out the new ad below.

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The first glimpse we got of Peter Berg’s upcoming board game adaptation (it hurts me somewhere deep to have to type those words) played a little coy with us, and at first made it look like the film would be sticking to the Battleship board game’s naval battle roots. Once a spaceship popped up and the whole thing turned into an alien invasion movie, it was kind of a surprise. This second look at Battleship, however, doesn’t bother to take any time tying this movie to the board game at all. It’s all alien invasion from beginning to end. And with a color palette very reminiscent of Michael Bay’s Transformers movies, a bunch of elaborately techno ships and weapons that look like they’re right out of Michael Bay’s Transformers movies, sound effects that seem to be ripped from Michael Bay’s Transformers movies, and a big ol’ headline that says this movie is from the company that brought you Michael Bay’s Transformers movies, I think it’s safe to say that Universal is aiming this thing less at fans of grid based strategy games and more at fans of Michael Bay’s big, dumb Transformers movies. It leaves me with a question: if this movie isn’t going to have anything to do with naval battles at all, why even attach it to the Battleship name? Why not just admit what you’re doing and call it Gobots? Check out the new trailer below.

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What is Movie News After Dark? It is our nightly promise to keep you on the up-and-up in the world of movie news, interesting links, strange occurrences and developments in the world of Breaking Bad. It is also breaking new ground this evening by defying popular opinion on the new Batman movie and featuring stories about not one, but two pop stars! Tonight’s top story, a first look at pop star Rihanna in Battleship, making her big screen debut as a member of the Naval squad who happen upon some Transformers-esque alien tech in the middle of the ocean and are forced to battle it out via a decades-old board game. B2! Oh, you sunk my interest in her character.

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What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a thing that happens nightly, only on Film School Rejects. Well, unless you count the spam sites that scrape our content and post it as their own. We know you’re out there, and we’re going to get you. In the mean time, here’s some news for all you readers, no matter where you’re seeing it. We open tonight with the new image from Jeff, Who Lives At Home, another TIFF ’11 premiere. It’s the latest from the Duplass brothers, about a man who lives at home with his mother, until the day when the universe begins showing him signs about his future. It has Ed Helms, I’ll watch that.

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Seriously folks. Battleship may very well turn out to be a fun action flick, but this trailer makes it look like a massive chore to sit through. Directed by Peter Berg (who has proven that he knows good character and story), this film shows off the talents of Liam Neeson’s one-liner abilities as well as the fill-in-the-blanks action prowess of Dolph Lundgern’s son Taylor Kitsch. It goes strictly by the book, and the comparison to Transformers and Skyline is so apt that you can still see the afterbirth pooling around the edges if you look hard enough. So, look hard:

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Every week, Landon Palmer and Cole Abaius log on to their favorite chat client of 1996 as BlurryProjector and TheGeneralRulz in order to discuss some topical topic of interest. This week, they ponder the wildly wide-spread Mark Harris article, “The Day the Movies Died,” alongside the new infographic proving movies have gotten worse. We really need a scapegoat, huh? Is marketing really to blame? Are movies really getting worse? If so, how do we, the fans, fix them?

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One is a movie based on a board game. One is the fourth installment to a franchise based off an amusement park ride. Both are what the people have been holding their breath in nervous anticipation for. Luckily, both are delivering in the ridiculousness department. Because that’s a real department. It’s true. I’ve driven by a movie set before, so I know. A few intrepid spies have nabbed some shots of Rihanna and her non-regulation haircut for Battleship, and the Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides main line up. Obviously looking at these set photos are a bit like looking at an X-ray and trying to figure out what color eyes the person has, but they’re good enough for a laugh for now. Sarcasm aside, I have high hopes for both films because seeing a big sci-fi warship movie would be cool, and seeing a return to form for the Pirates franchise would be even better. Still, Rihanna is an absurd casting choice, and she looks just as absurd as you’d imagine, and Ian McShane is a phenomenal acting presence, but dressing him up like a Gothic hobo might not be the best way to go. What do you think? View the images at ScreenCrave and Spoiler TV

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Finally, after months and months of waiting for the next fad in Hollywood, it’s finally emerged: casting women who look hot in their underwear professionally as stars of action films. Apparently flipping through a Victoria’s Secret catalog is easier than combing through head shots. Or whatever they’re doing gives a new meaning to the term “head shots.” Or some other tasteless joke. The point is that Brooklyn Decker has been cast in Universal’s big budget toy movie Battleship – in which a US Naval fleet has to defend the world from aliens…just like in the classic game! Decker is a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model and has done shoots for Victoria’s Secret. Clearly, she’s good at what she does, but whether that will translate to the big screen when she has to move around and talk has yet to be seen. Keep your fingers crossed for the next announcement of a model turning actress so we can all rejoice in Michael Bay creating yet another trend in film. And for those who feel we’re blatantly chauvinistic for using that particular photograph of Decker – it was the most discrete we could find. [Latino Review]

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Taylor Kitsch

Just as he’s in the midst of production in the titular role of Disney’s upcoming epic John Carter of Mars, Friday Night Lights and Wolverine star Taylor Kitsch is lining up another big sci-fi tentpole.

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This week, on a very special episode of Reject Radio, we delve deep into the world of why The Oscars should nominate more populist best pictures. And we rob a bank.

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BattleshipMovie

A ton of information has just come out about Battleship, and since I know you give a rat’s ass about a movie based off a board game, I’ve distilled it all for you.

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Battleship

Universal hopes you’re ready for some hot naval action because they’ve set a release date and officially announced Peter Berg while be at the helm of Battleship.

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This week, on a very special episode of Reject Radio, we Inglouriously review the recent releases while getting Thirsty and coming up with awkward puns for the film titles. We also get voted World’s Greatest Dad or something. Seriously, I’m not even trying anymore because my attention span is so Shorts.

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peter-berg-1

Quick, name a board game that could be turned into an identifiable and interesting movie. Ready? Okay, Peter Berg won’t be making that one. He may be filming Battleship instead.

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published: 12.23.2014
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published: 12.22.2014
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published: 12.19.2014
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