Ass Kicking

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. A young kid is in possession of a highly valuable code that many would kill for. Stored safely in the kid’s mind, the only way to get the code is to capture the kid alive. But there’s one tough badass standing in everyone’s way, protecting and hiding the kid at every turn. Sound familiar? That’s more or less the plot of Safe. It’s also more or less the plot of the nearly forgotten 1998 film Mercury Rising. Trade out an NSA code for a code for the combination of a safe (ha, get it!) and a 9-year-old autistic boy for an 11-year-old Chinese girl and you basically have the same movie. Mei (Catherine Chan) is a brilliant young student whose smarts and attitude give her teachers a bit of headache. But when the Chinese mob learns of her photographic memory, they bring her to Beijing and hold her ailing mother hostage to force her into working for them. Character actor extraordinaire James Hong stars as Han, the aging head of the mob, a man who despises computers and technology and anything that can leave a trail. He sends Mei to America to keep track of the financial data for his various fronts and illegal businesses. When Han comes to New York to close a huge deal, he asks Mei to memorize a very long number, a code for something he wants. But on the way to get the second half of the […]

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Boiling Point

I, like many people, went out to see Fast Five and be dazzled by its complex plot and characterizations. Just kidding, I went to see shit get blown up, crashed, smashed, and shot. I was pretty excited to see two separated-at-birth meatheads, Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson, smash sweaty brows into each other. While the racing is always cool, I think this is the installment where the physical action really shines through. The gun fights and the fist fights were both more exciting than any of the driving. And while enjoying The Rock and Vin Diesel try to lay the smack down on each other, I got to thinking: why isn’t The Rock a bigger star? I mean, who cares about Vin Diesel? Just kidding. Vin Diesel is fine too. But really I was thinking about Dwayne Johnson. Do you smell what he’s cooking? I don’t think so, because he hasn’t been in nearly enough films. Right?

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First there was a teaser, and then there was the report from Comic Con. Now, there’s the first full length trailer for Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch – a movie about several young women who escape the oppressive world of their juvenile home through the power of fantasy. Imagine Girl, Interrupted if there were dragons and robot ninja armies to battle. The rich visuals continue to impress, as does the action, and it looks like the story may deliver the kind of mental journey that fans appreciated from Inception earlier in the year. Plus, there’s Carla Gugino with a Balkan accent. Polish your glasses or contacts or your eyeballs directly, and enjoy:

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ff-mcteigueinterview

Since Ninja Assassin comes out on Wednesday to slice your turkey for you, I thought you might want to re-read my interview with its director. Sadly for you, it’s on video.

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HardyTheronMadMax4

Since the (possible) news is so nebulous, would you rather have Charlize Theron or Tom Hardy play Mad Max?

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thetouristvondonnersmarck

Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck is Spyglass’s number one choice to direct Angelina Jolie kicking ass and taking candid pictures in front of famous landmarks in The Tourist.

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ff-merantau

This martial arts flick coming out of Indonesia is, wait for it, far better than Ong Bak. Let that sink in, and then let me explain why inside.

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ff-mandrill

A hitman who kicks unprecedented amounts of ass gets an assignment to kill the man who he believes killed his parents. The plot thickens when he falls for the man’s daughter and must decide between leaving her an orphan or forgoing the revenge he’s waited for his whole life.

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maggieqpriest

The model who turned into an action star is joining Paul Bettany in the Old West to murder some blood-sucking fiends.

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Much Ass Kicking in Chocolate

An autistic girl born from two rival gang families discovers she’s got a knack for muay thai fighting. How the hell could we resist something like that?

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Get ready for flying fruit, knives, and fat kids… there’s a ton of ass-kicking coming out of Thailand.

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