World Without America

Did you know that Christopher Columbus didn’t set out to find America? He set out to find a new way to get to India! Crazy! If you knew that already, you’re probably a Rhodes Scholar or you’ve passed 7th grade social studies. Either way, congratulations. As a prize, here’s Dinesh D’Souza slowly explaining what you already know in teaser trailer form. (The absolute best part, is when he shows a picture of Indians and says, “These are the real Indians.” It’s in his inflection. You won’t want to miss it.) D’Souza wrote and directed 2016: Obama’s America, and he’s following up that massive box office success with a new film, simply titled America, that takes a big bold guess as to what life would be like if our fair country had never existed. At this point, it’s unclear whether that means the Chippewa and Pawnee are still running the place or if, as the trailer might suggest, the entire land mass has always been ocean. Either way, it’s probably going to be wildly speculative. Sounds fun! Here’s that teaser:


Criterion Files

Of the 600+ films in The Criterion Collection, almost 200 are listed as from the United States. While not all of these films are explicitly thematically based  around life in the US, the American selections for the Collection do make up a mosaic of diverse perspectives on life in this country, proving that there is no sustainable solitary understanding of what it means to be an “American,” but there exists instead an array of possibilities for interpreting American identity. What the American films do have in common, though, is provide proof that excellent films have been made in the US for quite some time. So, after exhausting yourself with Independence Day Parades, firecracker-lighting, and Budweiser, settle down with a great American movie. Here are a dozen great titles from the Criterion Collection about “America” and “freedom” in the many senses of those terms.


Junkfood Cinema

Welcome back to Junkfood Cinema; we will not go quietly into the night. You are about to read one of the worst internet columns in the history of mankind. No longer consumed by our petty need for legitimately good films, we here at Junkfood Cinema are united by our common interest in the utterly schlocky. First we will examine how the chosen film has earned its freedom from the tyranny of nuance and the oppression of critical measures of quality. We will then triumphantly raise our voices to proclaim what it is about the film that allows it to survive total annihilation and win not only the day, but our hearts as well. Finally, we will pair the film with an appropriately themed snack food item in order to prove that our waistlines will not vanish without a fight. Today we celebrate Roland Emmerich’s Independence Day!



Rob Hunter loves movies. He also loves training friends and strangers alike in the deadly and mystical way of Jewish martial arts. These two joys come together in the form of cash money payments that he receives every week and immediately uses to buy more DVDs. This week we have Sin Nombre, Good Dick, and Israeli Martial Artists!


Nicholas Meyer is penning the script for a project on George Washington that will probably focus on his leading America to independence instead of his time-traveling robot past.

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