Action Stars

Boiling Point

It’s Expendables week and if you’re anything like me, you couldn’t be more erect. There’s just something about a bunch of hulked up dudes, rippling with muscle, dripping with sweat, kicking ass, and wrestling each other that just really appeals to me, ya know? “No homo.” ~ The Lonely Island. But seriously, putting aside the disappointment in the first film (I still dig it, it just could have been way better), there is something great about seeing all the biggest action stars of the 80s and 90s back on screen again in a big way. Notice my word choice here – biggest. Big. Emphasis on size. These dudes are no joke. Sly Stallone could be retired and playing golf Palm Springs, but instead he’s working out and putting guys half his age to shame on the screen. Likewise, Terry Crews, gigantic and scary. Arnold Schwarzenegger, one of the biggest of all time. Dolph Lundgren, Jean Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris – dudes that all flexed serious muscle on screen. Why do people get so excited about these guys making their return to the silver screen? Simple. Our action stars today are lacking. To put it simply: Where’s the beef?

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Sylvester Stallone’s upcoming all-star action extravaganza The Expendables 2 is currently in the midst of a mass scale marketing blitz that recently motored on with the release of its final official poster over at Yahoo! Movies (check out a larger version after the break). Just look at all those big names standing next to each other and try to tell me that it doesn’t get you excited for the possibility of seeing them kick ass on the same screen. These guys are the biggest badasses in movie history, without question, and just the idea of seeing JCVD finally going toe-to-toe with Chuck Norris is enough to make one salivate. But what’s with the name of this franchise? The Expendables? Hardly. These rich old men are anything but, as their films have basically made all the money the action genre has brought in over the last three decades. To paint them as some sort of rag-tag team of underdogs is just downright disingenuous. If rooting for the little guy is your cup of tea, however, then boy do I have an appealing B-team of action badasses for you. Meet the Soldiers of Fortune:

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Van Damme in The Eagle Path

Can the action star draw in an audience with beautiful action scenes and…a love story?

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