A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas

As we all sit here at Reject HQ, gathered around an absurdly long, but incredibly imposing, table discussing what to do with the nuclear missiles we just “creatively appropriated” from a breakaway Russian republic, it occurs to us that 2011 was a great year to be bad. For every boring, dopey, goody-good hero that popped up on the silver screen, there was a brilliant, super cool, woefully misunderstood villain doing everything he/she/it could to thwart the zero hero at every turn. So when Supreme Commander #1, better known to the world (and those pesky Avengers so they’ll stop blasting our lair) as Neil Miller, issued an official order (delivered by a specially-trained, fire-breathing, gun-toting alligator who lives in the moat) to construct a supersonic death ray…that assignment went to Kate “Femme Fatale” Erbland. But then I got asked to do this list of the 20 Best Villains of 2011, a decided promotion from my usual position as sinister cocktail-fetcher and cleaner of the diabolical gutters.

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The Reject Report

There are only a few proven constants in the known universe. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, mixing Pop Rocks and Pepsi in your stomach will cause you to burst from the inside out (actually, this one hasn’t been proven), and the Twilight movies make a crap ton of money. And here we are again, ladies and germs, at the period of the box office year when Twi-hards feast their ever-loving eyes on yet another one. But this isn’t just another Twilight movie. This is the beginning of the end, the first of a two-parter that finishes off the franchise for good. Or, at least, until they reboot. I’m guessing it’ll make some dough this weekend. Aren’t you? It’s the Reject Report, and teen angst is eternal. At least, that’s what teens tell me.

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The Reject Report

What? Tintin? I know what you’re thinking. “I know we had Daylight Saving Time this morning, Jeremy, but you’re taking this “time travel” business a little too far, aren’t you?” You’ve probably notice we’re still at the beginning of November and haven’t been transported magically to December 21st when The Adventures of Tintin gets its US release, and you’d be both observant and right. However, Tintin, world figure that he is, got his release in several foreign markets on October 26th-28th. The ignorant American that I am didn’t bother to address this until now. Well, here you go, foreign markets. It’s your day to shine. The Adventures of Tintin has already pulled in $125.3m in foreign territories, pretty much guaranteeing its worldwide success well before its North American release. The film is already generated income from over 5000 locations in 21 foreign markets, but most of its dollars have come from the United Kingdom and France so far. It made $21 million from France last weekend and $10.9m from the UK. Spain and Germany were also big markets for the film, pulling over $10m from the locations combined.

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A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas is the world’s first interracial stoner buddy holiday comedy to be presented in the third dimension. It’s sure to be the last, too. A twin celebration of the joys of yuletide and bong rips, the flick is an appropriately manic and thoroughly nonsensical entrant in the popular trilogy that’s celebrated the joys of White Castle in one movie and condemned Guantanamo Bay in the next. This Christmas takedown is a one-time only feat, a symphony of pristine ridiculousness. You go into a Harold & Kumar flick expecting a heavy dose of weed-tinged surrealism, and director Todd Strauss-Schulson, working with the familiar team of writers Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg, doesn’t disappoint. This is a madcap farce that sends the now estranged heroes (John Cho and Kal Penn) on a frantic Christmas Eve journey into New York City to find a replacement tree.

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The Reject Report

Yes, we know. It’s a little early to be celebrating Christmas already. It’s actually a lot early to be celebrating Christmas, but what’s good enough for the weekend box office is good enough for the Reject Report. There is a Christmas movie hitting this weekend, A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas, and it’ll be looking to take dollars and laughs away from the other new release, Tower Heist. As much as we’d all like to see Brett Ratner go down in flames to the might of Harold & Kumar, that outcome might not be so foregone. Doesn’t matter to our Christmas spirit, though. We’ll still be singing carols and hanging out underneath the mistletoe. Alone. Practicing on the back of our hands. Oh, right, the box office.

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What is Movie News After Dark? Like Lexus, it’s relentless in its pursuit of perfection. Unlike Lexus, it’s a movie news column. It also won’t cost you anything. Take that, Lexus. Pop quiz, hot shot. How many Clash of the Titans movies does this modern world need? One? No. Two? Not even close. How about three Clash of the Titans movies, ah-ha-ha. Yes, Warner Bros. is already prepping a third Clash of the Titans film, which will most likely come complete with a terribly muted, dark and blurry 3D post-conversion. You know, for the kids.

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What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a nightly movie news and editorial column that doesn’t ask much of you, just your affection. That’s right, it’s completely free — all you need to do is tune in. That’s not a bad deal, friends. We begin with another shot from A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas. Because why the hell not. Warner Bros. released a bunch of promotional photos for the ‘stravaganza, due out November 4, expanding a universe in which Neil Patrick Harris is still alive, Paula Garces is still gorgeous and Patton Oswalt is Santa Claus. Oh yes, this is happening.

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Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle was a small and unassuming comedy that happened to be pretty damn funny. John Cho and Kal Penn have some fantastic chemistry together, and that combined with some fairly sharp writing and a brilliantly conceived cameo by Neil Patrick Harris made it a winner. The sequel from 2008 saw the boys go to Guantanamo Bay, and while it was bigger in scope it was a bit smaller in laughs. Harris was still hilarious, and the movie did feature a bottom-less party scene which I had hoped would catch on both in other films and in my life (sadly it was not to be), but it seemed the magic of that first pairing was lost. But now, seven years after we first met this rascally duo they’re off on a new adventure. And it all starts when Harold murders Santa Claus… Check out the trailer below courtesy of Yahoo Movies.

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What is Movie News After Dark? It’s a rumblin’, stumblin’, often bumblin’ and at times even tumblin’ nightly look at the world of entertainment news through the lens of brevity and wit. But mostly brevity. And fancy images. Tonight’s lead image came to me randomly while browsing around Yahoo! Movies. It’s the first still from A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas, and I can’t for the life of me explain why we haven’t featured it yet. Perhaps it was just released. If so, I feel like I’ve stumbled upon buried treasure. A gold mine of full-force ridiculousity. And NPH.

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published: 12.17.2014
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published: 12.15.2014
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published: 12.12.2014
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published: 12.05.2014
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