If you’re reading this review, then I’m going to assume that you’re already familiar with Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim, the talent behind shows like Tom Goes To The Mayor and Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! With each iteration of entertainment they’ve produced, it seems like things get more off the wall and strange, and Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie is no different. It steps across every boundary you can imagine, and then some.
The premise behind the film is that Tim and Eric have been given a billion dollars by the Schlaaang Corporation to make a movie, and the film opens with a screening of that film, which is only three minutes long and stars a Johnny Depp impostor (they thought they had hired the real Depp) as Diamond Jim and sporting a suit made entirely out of real diamonds.
Between that and the makeovers they gave themselves (capped teeth and deep body tans), helicopter rides to the office, and a $500,000 weekly salary to their guru Jim Joe Kelly (Zach Galifianakis), they’ve squandered it all. And due to the fact that they didn’t read their entire contract, Schlaaang, headed by Robert Loggia (looking incredibly like the Cryptkeeper in this film), can demand all of that money back. Which they do.
In dire straits, the two of them go on a drunken bender full of drugs, body piercings, and more, which culminates in them seeing Will Ferrell in a commercial playing at the bathroom urinals offering the chance for someone to come and run the S’wallow Valley Shopping Mall and Pizza Court to make a billion dollars. With their salvation upon them via piss-soaked urinal cakes, they head out to run the mall and make their bill.
Once they get to the rundown, ramshackle, and rodent-ridden mall, it’s a far cry from the lush and thriving version pictured in the commercial. Bums make their home here, a wolf roams the pizza court, and stores like “The Used Toilet Paper Shop” are the lone tenants. But Tim and Eric take it in stride, adopting Will Ferrell’s nephew Taquito (John C. Reilly) as the caretaker, and they set out to turn things around.
Of course, in typical Tim and Eric fashion, what results isn’t a standard business plan, and a cavalcade of the extreme spews forth. Literally. There’s a very lengthy scene involving four young boys firehosing diarrhea from their asses onto Wareheim in a bathtub while being presided over by Ray Wise as the head of a Scientology-esque company in the mall. That sparked at least a dozen walkouts at the premiere. There’s also strap-on sex, an inappropriate relationship between Tim and a little boy, and more.
It all leads up to a climactic showdown with Schlaaang, including a heavily armed Loggia and William Atherton, who serves as Loggia’s second-in-command. When it’s all said and done, you’re left with a film that is part hilarious, part disgust, and about 30 minutes too long. The film opens with an infomercial starring Jeff Goldblum as “Chef Goldblum” who explains the wonder of Schlaaang’s Cinema Seating, which involves IVs, leg-spreaders, and an automatic popcorn machine. When that is one of the best parts of the movie, you wonder why they didn’t make the whole thing a collection of vignettes, much like Awesome Show, Great Job!
Hardcore Tim and Eric fans will likely enjoy this, but it’s fairly hit or miss. Wait for the video, and make heavy use of the fast-forward.
The Upside: When it hits, it’s hilarious. There are enough hardcore laughs out of this movie so that you can string together many minutes of enjoyment. The fake commercials are the best part of the movie.
The Downside: There are 30 unnecessary minutes in this movie, and it would have been a lot tighter if they had trimmed the fat.
On the Side: Love it or hate it, the movie will be available via On Demand on January 27, and in theaters on March 2. Direct to you from the minds behind Funny or Die.
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