Perhaps the only thing you need to know about Vince Offer’s InAPPropriate Comedy is that (spoiler? can you spoil a film that you sincerely hope no one you’ve ever met sees? beware?) it ends with the reveal that everything that has taken place previously, every deeply unfunny sketch, every ham-fisted attempt at stirring up controversy, every minute of offensive material presenting itself as shocking cultural commentary, has taken place in Lindsay Lohan’s vagina.
To be fair, about three minutes or so do take place in Offer’s wraparound storyline (one so nonsensical that it makes me regret ever poking even the tiniest of holes in the wraparound storyline of V/H/S, a film that should be lauded as one of the greatest cinematic achievements of our time in comparison to the wretched tripe that is InAPPropriate Comedy), which features the ShamWow spokesperson/director/writer living in a sewer where he operates some sort of magical iPad that apparently controls sketch comedy in Lindsay Lohan’s nether regions. Offer’s choice to place himself in a La-Z-Boy in an actual sewer is the only wise decision he makes in the entire outing, and it’s still weirdly indicative of the level of humor in InAPPropriate Comedy, which is to say, incredibly stupid and gross and totally convinced that it’s subversive and cool and insightful.
Offer’s “film” (if we’re really going to call it that) features a range of recognizable talents, including the aforementioned Lohan (attempting to channel Marilyn Monroe, as she so loves to do, while wearing a SCRAM bracelet), Oscar winner Adrien Brody (who should probably have his Oscar just taken away from him if this is the kind of work he’s interested in doing now), Michelle Rodriguez (who spends half the film covering her face, smartly enough), Rob Schneider (fine, we expect this from him now), and co-writer Ari Shaffir (who seems to have watched a lot of Borat sketches without picking up on any of their nuance or intelligence), all of whom should have a long, long talk with their respective agents. Shaffir alone might have some sort of excuse, as he did co-write the film (along with Offer, Ken Pringle, and “additional dialogue” from some of his stars) and his sketch (“The Amazing Racist”) seems to be his normal shtick – again, cribbed straight from Sacha Baron Cohen and not even a tenth as funny as Cohen’s worst Borat or Bruno work (note: this writer doesn’t even like Cohen’s various, offensive characters, though she certainly appreciates them now).
The basic “plot” of InAPPropriate Comedy revolves around the iPad-toting, sewer-dwelling Offer messing around on his tablet, randomly pulling up different “apps” (yes, that’s the reason for the title’s wacky capitalization, another clever offering from the comedy gods) that are the various sketches. What kind of sketches? Well, there’s Shaffir’s aforementioned “The Amazing Racist,” a “Jackass” send-up called “Blackass” that gets progressively more offensive and disturbing through its many appearances, the Brody-starring “Flirty Harry” (which asks the bold question, what if Dirty Harry was gay? Like, just really, really gay? Get it? He’s gay!), the Rodriguez- and Schneider-featuring “The Porno Review” (I’d explain their rating system to you, but I’m trying to scrub the memory from my brain), and a couple of random appearances by something called “Psychology World” and “Things You’ll Never See” (both of which have some scant comedic promise, and both of which only pop up once, while the rest of the apps are cycled through ad nauseum).
In terms of variety, the different sketches do manage to offer a stunning range, at least in terms of covering every base of perversion, offensive, racism, homophobia, misogyny, and more. And, despite attempts to make it appear otherwise (particularly in “Blackass” and “The Amazing Racist”), every bit of InAPPropriate Comedy has been scripted for the scream. People wrote this shit (and, really, shit is what it is), no one has been “punked” by anyone, no one was ambushed by a hidden camera show, someone put this down on the page and other people agreed to act it out on camera.
Yet, really, what can you expect from a sketch comedy film co-written and directed by the ShamWow guy (and co-written by and starring a guy who thinks that incisive cultural commentary involves screaming, “I hate Arabs so much!”)? Not much, but InAPPropriate Comedy is somehow even worse that it sounds, somehow more ridiculous, nonsensical, offensive, gross, boring, and fundamentally unfunny than the sum of its shoddy parts. Not even worth a watch to revel in the spectacle of an utter failure of entertainment, InAPPropriate Comedy is easily the worst film of the year (so far, though if some other feature takes its place before 2013 is out, we’re fucked) and not appropriate for anyone to watch (this year, or any other).
The Upside: At some point, it ends.
The Downside: The true downside of the film is that it even exists.
On the Side: There is only one ShamWow joke made in the entire film. Shockingly, it’s not funny.