Foreign Objects travels the world of international cinema each week to look for films worth visiting. So renew your passport, get your shots, and brush up on the local age of legal consent, this week we’re heading to…

Canada! I wanted to give our chilly neighbors to the north another chance after the abysmal experience of Gutterballs from a while back, but decided to try a different genre. ‘What is Canada known for?’ I thought to myself. What one thing stands out as clearly Canadian? The answer of course is that there is no one thing, so I just picked up the first new Canadian DVD to catch my eye.

And with a title like Young People Fucking you know my eye was caught pretty damn quickly… I’ve dabbled a bit myself and continue to be a fan. YPF follows five couples (technically one couple blossoms into a threesome, but more on that later) through one fornication-themed night. They’re labeled as the Friends, the First Date, the Couple, the Exes, and the Roommates. We watch as each pair moves through six stages including prelude, foreplay, sex, interlude, orgasm, and afterglow. And yes, the movie should have actually been called Young People Talk About Fucking. Because that’s what they all do for most of the movie, punctuated only briefly with a few minutes of sexual intercourse.

YPF is co-written and directed by Martin Gero, and it’s basically an anthology film. As such it varies in quality from story line to story line, as well as in the sexiness of the flesh and behavior on display. The ‘Friends’ segment is the best on both counts. Aaron Abrams and Carly Pope (a smarter-looking and more Canadian Megan Fox) star as best friends Matt and Kristen, both of whom are prone to bad relationships. A night of heavy drinking leads to plans for a friendly shag and the absolute best speech I’ve ever heard from a hot, girl friend. It involves the line “sometimes a fuck is just a fuck” and ends with a deliriously sexy promise of a blowjob. Matt’s attempt at sexy talk fails miserably, but it is pretty damn funny. Also good is the ‘Exes’ segment, as Eric (Josh Cooke) and Mia (Sonja Bennett) star as former lovers just back from an awkward dinner as friends. The duo has unresolved feelings towards each other that come out during the evening and they’re forced to re-evaluate the relationship they truly want with each other. These two segments work best because they’re alternately funny, sexy, and completely relatable. I’ve been in both of those exact situations… they feel real and all of the actors involved bring the scenes and their roles to life with wit and emotion.

The same can’t be said for the remaining three couples. ‘Roommates’ Dave (Peter Oldring) and Gord (Ennis Esmer) present the least believable segment (and least sexy threesome) as feuding roommates who attempt to bond the night before Gord moves out. Gord’s girlfriend, Inez, comes over and the duo invite Dave to join them in their bedroom. So far so good, but Dave goes along with it all while seeming totally disinterested, Gord acts insecure and crass at the same time, and Inez inexplicably continues to express her love for her boyfriend (even while enjoying the ins and outs of Dave’s enormous Canadian bacon.) Andrew (Josh Dean) and Abby (Kristin Booth) are the ‘Couple’ trying to spice things up in the bedroom, and their journey ranges from him initiating oral sex and going down on her first to her… doing the unspeakable. The final couple, Ken (Callum Blue) and Jamie (Diora Baird), share their ‘First Date’ and if you think you know where it’s going… it’s because you probably do. Ken is the office Lothario who’s apparently worked his way through every co-worker except Jamie, the innocent and inexperienced redhead who finally agreed to a date. There’s a twist, but it’s obvious, and this segment was only saved by the fact that Baird is one of only a handful of sexually attractive gingers in the known world.

YPF is pretty funny at times and has boobs on screen other times. (And sometimes the boobage overlaps the funny bone…) It garners attention due to its title, but in the end, it fails to live up to the hype. Some segments work with smart writing, solid acting, and a sexy vibe, but most are weighed down with witless gab and slightly exaggerated performances. Gero has crafted an interesting and entertaining film, but it fails to keep the rhythm going at a sustainable pace. And we all know how important the rhythm is.

Young People Fucking was released on DVD last month. Check out the trailer below.

The Upside: Boobs; sexy and funny; two out of five segments are funny, smart, and realistic

The Downside: Not gratuitous enough for a film with this title; three out of five segments are unrealistic, predictable, and blah


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