Stark Sands as Bud the Zombie

I was ensconced somewhere in the same dark theater as Robert Fure, although my take on the movie was a bit different than his. Namely, I was enthralled and pissed off both at the same time. To me, that’s like a movie-goer’s warm blanket: if a film can make you angry and yet still entertain you, then they had to do something right.

So, surprise spoiler alert here: it’s a zombie movie. You know, just in case the “Of The Dead” words in the title didn’t clue you in to that fact. Now, I’m admittedly not a fan of most zombie flicks… and there’s also been a glut of them on the market lately. This one is meant to be a remake of the original 1985, although it’s more like a “do-over” because it bears almost no resemblance to the Romero film. Even the zombie you care about, “Bub” becomes “Bud” in this movie. Heck, they don’t even use the classic “Choke on it” line!

So, in a nutshell, it’s the basic “Oh shit the military did something now there’s an outbreak” plot, and it all takes place inside a small town. The military has barricaded the roads, and isn’t letting anyone out or in. Ving Rhames plays a barking sergeant (no relation to his character in Dawn of the Dead) who orders Mena Suvari to help quell the situation, since she’s from that town. Cue the heartstrings starting to get tugged.

Suvari’s mom is sick, and her Shia LaBeouf Jr. looking brother (played by Michael Welch) is rebellious, so the rest of the film involves those two and their ragtag group trying to stay alive and evade an entire approaching zombie horde. There’s plenty of guts and gore throughout the film, although not nearly enough nudity. I can only pray that desire will be quelled when I attend a screening of Zombie Strippers soon.

Now, what pissed me off about this film? The inconsistent logic. When people get zombified in this movie, they can suddenly move at superhuman speed, and several zombies are even shown crawling along the walls and on the ceiling. Which fails to explain why later, as Mena Suvari is dangling from an air vent in a hospital, the zombies can’t even jump up just a few feet in the air to snag her legs and disembowel her. I’m just sayin’. There are holes like that throughout the movie.

The acting was all really well done, although Ving Rhames only has about five minutes of screen time. Michael Welch channel LaBeouf through the movie, and his girlfriend AnnaLynne McCord is not only smoking hot, but she can kick ass as well. Just wait until you see her toting an AK-47. I’m not Mena Suvari’s hugest fan, but she was fairly decent in this, and Drumline star Nick Cannon kicked butt as well.

All in all, any many ways this isn’t your typical zombie film, but it ends up becoming one. Especially with the last shot that screams “sequel” louder than any of the characters in the movie did. It’s going straight to video, which was underscored by the fact that they gave us a copy to take with us, and we’re passing the savings along to you, dear readers. Just leave a comment down below, and we’ll randomly pick a winner using our secret zombie methods.

Grade: B-


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