Where would we be without the fart joke? Well, just about every mainstream comedy to come out of Hollywood in the last 25 years would be half as long as their original running time. Money hungry movie execs wouldn’t give a rat’s ass about the 18-25 male demographic let alone every movie they make. Rob Schneider would be a homeless schmuck instead of a rich schmuck.

Sure we could act like movie snobs who walk through Blockbuster with an up-turned nose at every comedy and kiddie movie we see, but we’re not ashamed to admit it: farts are funny. Most of them can’t cut it. Audiences can always sniff out when a fart joke it is just meant to serve as a punchline because the writers couldn’t pull a better one out of their ass if they tried to force it. But when they do rip, they can kill an audience.

So hold your nose and light a match because here are the 10 best farts in movie history.

10. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, A Brown Alert

Kevin Smith’s Jay and Silent Bob opus may not have gotten its ass kissed by the Oscar nomination committee, but who wants to be that close to an ass that’s done that much farting? The funniest by far was future Heroes star Ali Larter’s britches breech, which actually set off an alarm during a jewel heist. It’s a hilarious moment and it makes you imagine how much better Mission: Impossible would have been if Luc Besson just lets one go during the safe room heist scene.

Related Video: YouTube

9. Shrek, Gone Fartin’

The Shrek franchise has been spun off and sequelized so much that it’s erased almost all of the good memories we had of it when we first saw it. So let us take you back to a funny fart scene in the opening of the film. Shrek gets ready for his day by taking a mud bath, jumping in the bog and fishing for his breakfast by farting in the water. It’s a moment that made both children and their parents laugh, even if the parents didn’t want to admit it later in front of their kids.

Related Video: YouTube

8. Airplane!, Diagnosis: Flatulence

The first time you heard about Airplane! you probably thought it would be chocked full of more flatulence jokes than a nationwide fraternity rally, but there was only one and it was damn funny. After the crew of Flight 209 realize the fish is making everyone deathly ill, Leslie Neilsen lists the symptoms of the illness, which includes dryness of the throat, dizziness, itchy rashes, muscle spasms, drooling and (wait for it) uncontrollable flatulence. Peter Graves gives the performance of his career by acting out everyone of the symptoms including the final farts. He’s the Peter O’Toole of tooting.

7. Mystery Men – Fart On!

Superheroes are defined by their superpowers. Spider Man slings webs and crawls up walls. Superman can do everything because he’s super and can kick your ass if you dare to question it. Aquaman can talk to fish, but only when he’s drunk. The Spleen farts. Paul Reubens stole the screen in this funny Tick-wannabe flick as a superhero with a supersonic butt trumpet that can stun the strongest of villains with even the most chronic sinus problem. We’re sure if this movie did strong enough to inspire a sequel, his next villain would have a Beano product placement.

6. Dances with Wolves, A Poot on the Prairie

Yes, even high caliber films that explore man’s inherent destiny and deep emotional bonds that cross cultures and link all of mankind together and win the Best Picture Oscar can come up with a quality fart joke. This one’s from the late Robert Pastorelli who plays Timmons, a rude little man who gives Lt. Dunbar, played by Kevin Costner, a ride to his post on the prairie. When they stop to camp for the night, Dunbar starts drawing the nighttime sky in his journal. Pastorelli starts messing with Dunbar, lets one rip and then tells him “Put that in your book.” If the Oscars had a Best Flatulent Performance that year, you can bet Pastorelli would have won it in a walk.

Related Video: YouTube

5. Shaun of the Dead, A Sorry Smell

Shaun of the Dead is a revolutionary comedy for a number of reasons. It’s a horror comedy that’s equally scary and funny. It’s got an original and unique film style and flavor. It’s a parody movie that relies on love for its target to make jokes rather than just making blatant movie references. Even their fart joke is revolutionary. Most fart scenes rely on the familiar and varied pitches and tones of the butt trumpet to pull a laugh out of their audience. Nick Frost’s fart joke is silent but deadly funny.

Related Video: YouTube

4. Beavis and Butthead Do America, Fat Man and Little Boy

You just knew a movie based on the Beavis and Butthead series would have a fart joke buried deep within the storyline and that it would be a big one, but nothing could prepare you for this. The boys are stranded in the desert and they come across two former Motley Crue roadies who tainted their mothers’ gene pools long ago. Butthead’s father spends the whole scene eating a can of beans, asks “You guys wanna see something really cool?” and farts in the fire. A Dr. Strangelove sized mushroom cloud fills the screen and our hearts.

Related Video: YouTube

3. Caddyshack, The Unkindest Quack of All

Rodney Dangerfield stole the attention away from anyone he shared a screen with in Caddyshack. Every line he cracked have become closely guarded classics. Anyone who repeats them is doomed to be and shunned as a hack and in some cases, threatened with physical violence. He even manages to turn a fart from a punchline into a setup for an even better punchline. He lets one loose in Bushwood’s snooty country club restaurant and exclaims, “Did somebody step on a duck?” It’s so funny that I’ve been tempted to use the line myself and I’ve got the scars to prove it.

Related Video: YouTube

2. South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, Fart! The Musical

The South Park movie wasn’t just a feature length animated film about gross out gags, curse words and sexual body parts that couldn’t be shown on television, even for the likes of cable television. It was a satirical comedy with a strong message about the mass media, young impressionable minds and the role parents need to take when it comes to raising their own children. It was also about farting and lots of it. The kids go to see the Terrance and Phillip blockbuster Asses of Fire and one of the greatest flatulence numbers follows it. T&P’s performance puts the musical in “musical fruit.”

Related Video: YouTube

1. Blazing Saddles – The Farts Heard Round the World

It’s the scene that popularized the movie fart joke craze and depending on your view of the fart joke, that may or may not be a good thing. Taggart’s men are sitting around a campfire for an evening meal when a couple of them let loose. They slowly grow and grow in number and magnitude until the scene turns into a virtual symphony of stankiness. This scene from Mel Brooks’ western spoof is damn funny and like the best broccoli fart, it’s stayed strong for a long time.

Related Video: YouTube

For more FSR Top 10 Lists, click here.


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