Every superhero has their nemesis, every positive has its negative and you can be sure that for every good comic book adaptation there is a bad one, too. Earlier this week we presented you with “The 10 Best Comic Book Adaptations of All-Time.” Now, on the day when fans will decide where Spider-Man 3 fits into the mix, we bring you “The 10 Worst Comic Book Adaptations of All-Time”…
10. “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” (2003)
Poor Alan Moore. He’s the Philip K. Dick of comic books. Although he’s one of the greatest visionaries of the medium, the adaptations of his books are rarely done well. On paper, “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen” had it all, including the awesome Sean Connery as the lead. However, it forgot to bring a good script along with it. LXG should have been renamed LBG for the “League of Boring Gentlemen.”
9. “Daredevil” (2003)
Although I like Ben Affleck as an actor, I hated him in this film. “Daredevil” is a cool guy in the comics, but he was a mess on the silver screen. Directed too dark with godawful performances by Affleck and Jennifer Garner, “Daredevil” made me wish I was blind.
8. “Superman” sequels
No offense to Richard Donner, but the sequels “Superman III” and “Superman IV: The Quest for Peace” ruined the franchise. What studio genius thought Richard Pryor would be great for a Superman movie? Whose idea was it to give Christopher Reeve influence over the script of “Superman IV”? And who thought that Marc McClure as Jimmy Olsen was the perfect cross-over character for “Supergirl”?
7. “The Fantastic Four” (1994)
Schlock-maven Roger Corman was commissioned to make this film in order to retain the option on the Fantastic Four property. Shot on an ultra-low budget with special effects that make Spider-Man’s appearances on “The Electric Company” look high-tech, this film was a joke for everyone but the actors and the director.
6. “Howard the Duck” (1986)
It is rumored this film was presented to the Supreme Court as evidence that George Lucas is, in fact, not a great filmmaker. It is also rumored that Joel Schumacher got his idea of nipples on the batsuit from the scene featuring a duck with nipples. While few can remember the storyline, few forget that “Howard the Duck” was one of the biggest bombs of 1986.
5. “Josie and the Pussycats” (2001)
This film, along with “Superman Returns,” is scientific proof that Parker Posey is only capable of acting in indie films. Rachel Leigh Cook managed to look more doped up than Tara Reid in this movie, which is a feat in itself. Going for a grunge version of the Pussycats, this film had none of the bubble-gum pop flavor of the original comic or cartoons. It’s not even worthwhile as spank material.
4. “The Hulk” (2003)
Apparently Ang Lee was getting tired of the awards and praise he was getting for “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.” Why else would he make such a mess of “The Hulk”? Eric Bana played a great Bruce Banner, but an anorexic Jennifer Connelly just phoned in her performance. Not even a drunken Nick Nolte could save the film. While the Hulk looked great, the script imploded by page two. Note to Hollywood: Mutant poodles do not make great monsters.
3. “Batman Forever” (1995)/”Batman and Robin” (1998)
It’s true that 1989’s “Batman” was not Tim Burton’s best film, but at least it and “Batman Returns” were watchable. However, when Joel Schumacher took over the franchise, the least of the problems were nipples on the batsuit. Cluttered with too many characters and featuring some of the worst writing since the 1940s pulp comics, the last two Batman sequels proved that the drugs in the 90s were at least as good as those in the 80s.
2. “Captain America” (1990)
After starring in “Revenge of the Nerds,” Matt Salinger thought he’d make it big with the comic book adaptations of the 80s and 90s. Too bad he didn’t foresee this film rotting in a can before being released direct to video. Our patriotic hero is emasculated by the script and direction, and President Ronny Cox shows more spunk in the climax as he fights off the thugs while Captain America beats up the girl.
1. “Catwoman” (2004)
Anyone surprised that Pitof hasn’t directed anything since this cinematic turd? With the Batman series having such a checkered past, I guess the good folks at Warner Bros. decided to deliver a crushing blow to anything remotely fun from the DC books. Discarding the interesting character of Selena Kyle for a whiny desk jockey played by Halle Berry was the beginning of the end of this film. The only decent thing about this movie was that it showed Sharon Stone as her true self, a marble-faced mannequin doped up on Botox and other age-defying chemicals.
“Batman” (1989), Prince? Vicki Vale in the Bat Cave? “Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?” There was a lot to love about Tim Burton’s “Batman,” but too many things left us asking, “What the f@#%?”