Justin Chatwin in Dragonball

Aside from the fact that this film is 10 years too late in the making, Dragonball has a new teaser trailer that will make you laugh and cry… from laughing so hard.

20th Century Fox originally bought the rights to the film in 2002. Judging by the trailer, which we posted here earlier today, it certainly feels like it was made then. The trailer brings up many questions, very few of which are related to the film. For starters, what the hell happened to James Marsters’ career? I loved this guy as Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, now he is accepting roles as an awful looking Piccolo? Couldn’t Anthony Head have landed him a chorus role in Repo! The Genetic Opera?

Continuing my “What the hell happened to…” line of questioning, Chow Yun-Fat has not quite made a smooth transition to American cinema. I will forgive you for bombs like Anna and the King, but this shit is inexcusable. We need more Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Which is not an American film, I know) and less reminders of Super Mario Bros. (What’s hilarious is the tagline for the film was “This ain’t no game, it’s a live-action thrill ride!” Shiiittt.)

Of all the actors on the 90s hype totem pole there is no actor this trailer reminds me more of than “Party of Five” star Scott Wolf. Wolf played Billy Lee in the absolutely forgettable Double Dragon. Try and tell me Dragonball doesn’t look like the exact same film.

Wolf’s star was on the rise for quite some time. In fact, over half the cast of Party of Five had moderate success after the hit Fox show. Neve Campbell starred in the hit horror franchise Scream, Matthew Perry is still kicking ass on Lost, Jennifer Love Hewitt has looks, obviously, and a lengthy run on Ghost Whisperer, and Lacey Chabert is making a million films this year. She stood out in Mean Girls and “Maxim” loves her. That always translates to an ability to stay on the radar.

“Why all the Party of Five talk?” you say. Because this film is going to do so horribly it will make you wish it was 1996, when both Party of Five and Dragonball Z mattered.

Dragonball is set to hit theaters on April 10, 2009. Don’t blink, you might miss it.

What are your thoughts on Dragonball? What 90s television show do you miss most?

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